As most of you reading this probably can sympathise, I have no qualms at all in telling you I'm tired and hope that my LO will start *routinely* feeding at set times throughout the night. Having the odd night where he sleeps through, or the majority of nights where he feeds anything from 2 to 4/5/? times isn't really doing me much good at the moment. I have absolutely no idea how many times I've been up the last few nights... definitely more than twice because he's onto '3' or maybe '4', ifkwim. All I know is that normally between 4 and 6 I can't do it anymore and he comes into bed so I can doze for 30 minutes or so while he feeds. Of course, the problem then is offering the other side, as leaning over doesn't seem to work at that time of day (maybe something to do with my rotten back) so he patiently waits for a millionth let down. Not happening.... you need the other side, boy... but Mum is too dozey to manage to swap places with you so you'll need to wait a little while...

Ok... so...

I'm tired! And had no idea BC (before child) that 'tired' meant something different to different people. To me it is beginning to mean "it may not be long before I can't cope with these night feeds but I feel panic at the thought that someone will suggest controlled-crying because I can't do that to my son although I respect the right of other people to do it if they think it is best for them both".......... previously in my life, tired may have meant "phew that was a long day at work", or "I stayed up all night to do an assignment, let's go to the pub", or at best "I'm incredibly pregnant and am feeding at least 2 people that I know of, which is making me sick, and I think I may be able to sleep forever."

Right now, having thought this through (thanks, blog, what a good listener you are!) tired means "I will give my son what he needs, so long as he does not take the mick and *not* feed when waking at night in which case I will think of a strategy - probably wake dh - and deal with the tiredness by eating biscuits and drinking cider and napping during the day when we don't have stuff to go to, or not going to stuff, just to nap."

Wow!!! Feel better having worked through all that!

And SO glad I only have the one child to think about - if I had another person who needed me, I'm not sure I could give much more. (I typed "I couldn't give any more" but never say never...)

There is also good news, in that my to-do list is a little shorter, I have actually completed items on the list, although many items NOT on the list remain incomplete. Not least the cleaning, and the house is a state, but never mind!

Biscuits, cider, tv, bed!!
x


oh, PS, I am beginning to obsessively look for gen-y universal wraps in L/2 whatever she calls it... we *could* do with another wrap or 2, as I'm starting to make sure what we have will last through to pt and am planning on using more terries and/or prefolds - any ideas what else other than the gen-y uni will do EVERYTHING??????