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i am vvvvvv computer ignorant and not 100% sure what a blog is :oops:

i'm sure my 10yr old could tell me ...

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I'm waiting for dh to come back after a night away visiting a work colleague/friend. I could have gone, too but didn't fancy the work-related bit (going round the lab and talking about some new things they're going to collaborate on), and didn't fancy the late night followed by being woken early by their kids. Plus, last time we left the cat overnight he pooed on the kitchen floor, despite having a clean litter tray (protest poo) ...

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Same horse as last time, had great time although it was with the instructor i least prefer.
Did lots of trotting and a small canter too. I was the lead horse this time so friend was following me.

One piccie here:

...

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I had forgotten I had this little corner, I'm glad I found it though as today I just need a bit of space to let off steam.
Today I'm tired; physically and mentally and emotionally. It's days like this that I question my own sanity at adding to our family, whether we are doing the right thing, for everyone. How will the older 2 cope? Will I cope? Will J? Or have I just lost the plot and this is going to be a really stupid thing to do?
I don't regret this baby, he is not now and will never be a mistake...

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Yesterday was the day it was all officially over. No more hope that the baby would be born alive. Surprisingly it is actually quite a relief for all the worrying and stress to be over.

After my BFP I was waiting for a miscarriage, after the 12week scan I was waiting to be told there was no heartbeat at the 16 weeks scan. It was just like I was constantly waiting to be told the inevitable in my mind. So although I am very sad that the baby is lost, I am actually very pleased that all the worry is...

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