Your area and 'acceptance'

This is kind of long
I live in a sea side town, this means it's very closed off from the rest of the country and new ideas and everything to be honest, people are poor and if you want to stereotype (which again to be honest my town is a huge stereotype) there are many 'chavs', I find that I feel very different to most people I meet and know, I always thought I was just weird for a long time growing up, but now I'm more grown up and a Mum (this gives a huge amount of personal insight dont you think) I know it's this town. I find that I am determined to not just go along with the crowd (and that crowd is huge here) and do the 'normal' things that everyone else does even if it means being frowned at or given that look that says 'you are weird'. Sadly in this town cloth nappies and even more sadly breastfeeding are not the norm especially for someone my age (it sounds terrible even writing it but thats whats its like here), this also includes the things i like doing like gardening, reading, wearing clothes that arent 'chav', being slightly different or probably normal to the rest of the country lol (due to the closed of nature of the town) etc etc the list is endless and rather depressing. Anyway
no one uses cloth round here (ok so there will be a few somewhere), and very few people breastfeed, in fact people dont really do anything im interested in, its a strictly 'pampers, disposable wipes, bottle' area round here (sorry to anyone who does these things but im using it as an example) and people just dont understand reusables, a lady today was trying not to look too horrified when i began to discuss (suggest lol) reusable wipes, people just wont have it! I think the worst thing about it all is that everyone just goes along with everything, no one questions anything, I've found a huge amount of things that I'm not happy with as a person and a Mum, the problem is so many people just dont know or understand this stuff and if they do they dont bother to voice their concerns, i probably research too much but some being; the issue of forward facing car seats http://www.rearfacing.co.uk/, the MMR after reading some research showing the goverments lack of evidence and testing of the jabs even though they say its ok, disposable nappies and even more so, wipes with their horrible chemicals, the companies involved in products for children and what they dont tell parents, more importantly why the goverment let companies keep things quiet and by doing so many parents and people in general go along with the norm (again the problem with my town, they even look at me like im mad and say 'well everyone does it and they sell it so it must be ok') without ever knowing different or that things arent necessarily healthy or safe, but those things are a different topic entirely, if I'm not happy with things I try and do things about it instead of just moan, like emailing companies and the MP to voice my concerns but in my town someone of my age is looked at like we're crazy, like only grumpy old ladies are allowed to complain, it drives me round the bend. I chat normally to people, I dont try and push these ideas on people, its nothing like that, its purely when someone sees that you do something different they make you feel crazy!
The worst thing is that the information is there, we have surestart who give so much info but people turn their noses up because its not 'normal', i feel honestly embarrassed to get out me wipes and nappies at our local group but i try to sort of lead the way by not backing down and pulling out disposables and pampers wipes just to save face, but the culture of the whole country is just so against, it seems, anything natural and healthy, i know its not peoples fault but its infuriating that we are basically sold and almost forced to do the norm by the companies that sell these products, because thats the problem isnt it really.
i think anyone who hasnt got the confidence to be different will give up round here but sadly its the things that do their babys good that they will lose out on, even though they mean well. I'm not against anyone who doesnt like cloth nappies or anything like that, its purely the huge weight of 'being normal' that gets me down.

I bet I'm not the first to come across this problem with the nappies and wipes, am I right?

thats my little vent over anyway
i shall move to sweden i think
Thanks for reading

I grew up in a town like that so I know what you mean, but I had to leave, I couldn't stay there They all thought me and my mates were weirdos because we went out in Manchester instead of just staying down the local

we want to and need to get out too, for lily's sake, the thing is growing up here it would be so weird to be anywhere else but we will go, its different in seaside towns, its like a whole other world, an example of that is fashion here is sometimes months behind the rest of the country!
did your life change when you left?

We live in a relatively good area but even here people do find me weird and I am known for my "hippy ways" there is a few that cloth nappy or baby wear or dare to past 6 months, keep rear facing etc but no-one else that I know of or others in my group know do it all. It is that is not normal to do these things.

it must be hard for you when no-one is at all like you.

I felt a bit like that in the area I used to live in - I definitely stood out, and didn't know anyone who used cloth nappies, although breastfeeding was quite common. It's different now, we live in a relatively wealthy, very highly-educated part of the city, and people seem to be much more likely to use cloth, accept extended breastfeeding etc. etc.

It really is hard when you feel like the odd one out That's why this forum has been so important to me

I was the only cloth nappy user I knew until I met Jayne (Via CNT, used to live in the house opposite mine! LOL!) and then my friend Tory (Toryuk) had her DS and started to use cloth. Before then, I just had my Mum thinking I was a nutter
I didn't Dawn because Mum and Dad made it difficult to. They said I wasn't to do it in 'their house' and would have to go to my bedroom to do it (Was living with them till Dawn was 6months). They also laughed and made the usual 'big boob' jokes. So when I struggled to get Dawn to latch, I gave in VERY quickly and bottle fed. I tried to express but had to keep coming up stairs to do it and Mum didnt know what I was meant to do so couldn't help me when I didnt have a clue what I was doing either. So that didn't last long. Think Dawn had a couple foz of EBM

They also laughed at me wanting to Babywear. AND Dawn was named Dawn because of mum and dad laughing at my original name choices.
Me and OH have sworn we will make ALL of the choices ourselves with #2 and that I'm going to do, or at least try, all the stuff I didn't get to do with Dawn.

I often get by OH when in town. I'll see someone or Babywearing and be like "OMG! LOOK!" Because you don't often see it here. Jayne was one of the first people I saw babywearing, and the first person using cloth nappies that weren't a terry and rubber pants!

Stick to your guns. That's my advice. I'm really regretting not turning to mum n dad and saying "You know what, this is MY baby, so sod off!"

Sounds like a town I used to go to school in!! It is a seaside town and is just as you describe. I have many friends there but feel like a wierdo when I reach in my changing bag for my cloth nappies. I was on my lunch break between visits in that town the other day and went to a friend's to express and felt MORTIFIED. She didn't mind at all but was very interested about when I would be be stopping breastfeeding and the whole idea looked completely foreign to her!! I find myself saying things like 'he won't take a bottle' and 'I use cloth nappies because they save me money' (yeah right!!!).

You know while living in a big city has it's draw backs, lack of countryside for example the HUGE diversity of the people means that nothing I do is odd. In fact I've left coffee shops and half a dozen of my friends, who plan on extended , to go to a Sure Start centre's group and be the only one there I do quite often see other mums in coffee shops though, but haven't seen anyone doing it past a few months old except my friends. I'm never aware of any odd looks, but do clock when people see me and smile or say something nice
Baby-wearing is quite common. I'd say I see at least one other mum, or dad each time I'm in town, even if that other mum is Steph or Sara And I've never had a negative comment about cloth, except one woman at work when I was pregnant who said, 'that'll change after the baby's born' Yes, it did, I stopped using terry squares and became a posh fluff addict Again I never get any disaproval for my cloth use, just admiring looks at Kacie's posh fluff and I've had lots of questions at SS groups and quite a few mums who have or wanted to use cloth.
However, my sister was bringing my nephews up in this exact same city 24 years ago, God that makes me seem old , and NOONE was extended , babywearing or using cloth, all things my sister did regardless So she was a trail blazer if you ask me. She stood out as different back then, much to the of her friends, MW's, HV's, etc.
So what I guess I'm saying is be proud to stand out as different, the more you stand out as being different now the easier it becomes for other mums who want to do these things in future
And I know it can't be easy

we want to and need to get out too, for lily's sake, the thing is growing up here it would be so weird to be anywhere else but we will go, its different in seaside towns, its like a whole other world, an example of that is fashion here is sometimes months behind the rest of the country!
did your life change when you left?

Well I left to go to University and altho I went back in the holidays I never really lived there again. I lived there a year on a gap year before I went away and the crowd I hung round with were all oddballs and the local yoof thought we were all bonkers. But at least I had a few people I could hang out with, and I had friends in other parts of manchester that were like me

When I went away the biggest shock was that not everyone at University was like me and there was still the majority rule of the stiffs just like at school! but I guess we just all learned to get along a bit better. My best mate was a sports bunny at school, we would never have spoken

Now like Frances I live in an affluent well educated part of Leeds - lots of teachers and academics - so it's different, but I still was in a minority with the cloth and altho I see lots of out and about I rarely see anyone using cloth nappies

I guess what I mean is, don't assume that you would find it a great deal different if you moved. But also don't assume you are right and they are wrong, nor should you apologise for what you do - they are entitled to their parenting choices and you are entitled to yours, and a bit of gentle mickey taking on both sides can do wonders to break down barriers sometimes