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Your area and 'acceptance'

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tanya
Cloth Nappy Wise Woman
Cloth Nappy Wise Woman

Re: Your area and 'acceptance'

Postby tanya » Fri Mar 05, 2010 9:49 am

There are a few cloth users around here, but I'm definitely in the minority. Like some of the pps, I just think "sod it, it's not their place to judge." I do what I feel is best for my children, as do all sensible parents, and I don't feel in a place to judge their choices (I may not agree, but I don't judge), so I won't let them judge me either.

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freyasmummy
Cloth Nappy Nutter
Cloth Nappy Nutter

Re: Your area and 'acceptance'

Postby freyasmummy » Fri Mar 05, 2010 9:59 am

I can empathise with a lot of that! I live in a tiny village in the Welsh Valleys - it's affectionately known as 'Bedrock'! It's a beautiful area, we live on the side of a mountain, we frequently get sheep trotting past our front door, the views and amount of green space is breathtaking, but the trade off is the 'Valleys Mentality'! Lots of teenage pregnancy, benefit dependence, adherence to a bottlefeeding, dispo-using, throwaway society ideal and not really much in the way of progressive thinking generally when it comes to parenting. Never mind rearfacing carseats, round here people are doing well if they use one at all!

It IS hard to go against the grain, and I am very much viewed as the slightly odd local yoghurt weaving hippy mum, but you've got to just stop caring and focus on following the parenting path that feels right to you. I've learned the value of nodding and smiling and saying "Really? I'll give that some thought!" when presented with 'suggestions' on how I should raise and treat my child, and likewise I've learned that not everyone shares my ideals and whilst I'll explain my philosophies if asked, I try not to shove them down people's throats.

I think we should maybe play some form of 'Phrase Bingo' - things that I heard a lot when DD was small included:

Breastfeeding - "So when are you going to put her on PROPER milk?"
Slings - "Can't you afford a buggy?"
Cloth nappies - "You can get nappies made out of CLOTH?"
Age-appropriate intro of solids - "Poor little mite will STARVE, give her some puree!"

Go on, add yours!

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toothlesswonder
Cloth Nappy Groupie
Cloth Nappy Groupie

Re: Your area and 'acceptance'

Postby toothlesswonder » Fri Mar 05, 2010 1:02 pm

I can sympathise too.

My mother, when she was alive used to call me a 'crunchy hippy' because i breastfed, wore my baby and used cloth. I remember her ringing me when MissB was 8 weeks old and her asking was i not thinking about putting her on 'Proper milk' and why wasn't i giving her tastes of food just yet. I swear if i hadn't had her around when my eldest was small, i would have done all those things with him too - it's a regret that i didn't.


I echo Beth - stick to your guns. You know what you feel is right for you and your child. And just nod and smile at the numpties.

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rhiannon
Cloth Nappy Lover
Cloth Nappy Lover

Re: Your area and 'acceptance'

Postby rhiannon » Fri Mar 05, 2010 1:30 pm

freyasmummy wrote:Age-appropriate intro of solids - "Poor little mite will STARVE, give her some puree!"


:hohoho: :hohoho:
If I had a penny for every time I heard that one.

I have never met another cloth user but I love that I've introduced lots of people to cloth... whether they thought I was a nutter or not :wink: Anyway I console myself with the fact that going to the supermarket for disps can no way compare to getting WN post!

I've always been weird... only now I'm happy being weird and not trying to fit in with everyone else just because...

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Emma1977
Cloth Nappy Passionata
Cloth Nappy Passionata

Re: Your area and 'acceptance'

Postby Emma1977 » Fri Mar 05, 2010 1:59 pm

freyasmummy wrote:Breastfeeding - "So when are you going to put her on PROPER milk?"
Slings - "Can't you afford a buggy?"
Cloth nappies - "You can get nappies made out of CLOTH?"
Age-appropriate intro of solids - "Poor little mite will STARVE, give her some puree!"


How bout "your baby's hungry, love, you should give him a biscuit!!" :evil: :evil: :furious: :furious:

I was brought up in a seaside town, Scaborough, and it has changed so much since I was a kid - more teenage mums, benefit leeches, youth crime, etc but then I look around where I live at the moment and its the same except people have different accents. :evil: Out of all my friends and family I'm the only one using cloth and will wear my LO. BFing is not so uncommon as my sister BF and most of my DH's family have BF their kids. Some do think I'm slightly loopy with the cloth nappies but in a good natured way. Its the CSP they can't get their heads round :giggle:

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smilinglou
Cloth Nappy Addict
Cloth Nappy Addict

Re: Your area and 'acceptance'

Postby smilinglou » Fri Mar 05, 2010 5:42 pm

i thought i wouldnt be the only one. we live in clacton in essex so its pretty bad here, i cant believe some of the responses that people have got 'proper milk' what do they think breastmilk is then!
anyway it's great to get support on here, i dont want to push my views on anyone, and it obviously doesnt mean that certain things that are the norm are bad but you alll know what i mean about the whole package lol, but i know that most people seem closed minded to anything, i try and explain why i dont use 'baby' products like johnsons because the nasty chemicals and that actually a good dose of olive oil is much better lol,they sort of just smile and look shocked, "how could you put FOOD on your child" lmao im fine with that most of the time but after a while its quite isolating, i will get over it though lol.
dawnsmummy i really feel for you, your parents are just so wrong in so many ways,mine are like that and i have had problems with them in the past except they wont control me to my face but use little tac tics over time, but its good that you can stand up for yourself now, it seems often to be parents and their views that keep people doing the same things that are 'normal' :roll:
iv only just worked out what babywearing means :oops: i bought a sling and was all up for that until i realised that i had no idea how to use it or no one to show me lol.
sometimes it feels good when i see people start to relax a little and feel they can do 'different' things and not just go with the crowd after they've seen me stand my ground and carried on with what i want to do, that is the positive side, i always seem to get on better and have more in common with older people, i think age gives you more confidence to do a wider range of things, that always helps.

some I've heard:

"she's probably doing it to save the world" (replying to a comment from someone saying "you use reusable nappies?" after my status about loving our cloth nappies, that person happened to be a midwife too :evil: )

"all that natural world saving stuff"

"I dont want a baby stuck on me all the time"

"ugh its so weird to have a baby sucking off of 'them' "

"i dont want to see his poo, i just want to bag it and bin it, its disgusting"

"they arent sterile"

"they use just as much energy to wash them so whats the point"

"i bet you're sore arent you"

"i wanted my sleep/social life/dignity" (and you had a baby?!)

the best one about breastfeeding: "argh its so wrong, its just not NATURAL"

"why dont you use those huggies wipe, they're 'just as pure cotton wool and water' "

"mmm well i know some people do that"

Lol I feel a little cheered up now, i always think a lot of people would love shopping for the different cloth nappies, at our group a lady is coming to talk about "eco nappies or whatever they're called'" (lol) but i know they will be the plain boring ones that probably leak and the council hand out :( people dont know whats out there, a lady i worked with used these weird things that they took and washed for you, she said she would never use reusables again because they leaked and didnt fit her son, if only i knew back then the different types i could have showed her.

funny world :roll:

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tanya
Cloth Nappy Wise Woman
Cloth Nappy Wise Woman

Re: Your area and 'acceptance'

Postby tanya » Fri Mar 05, 2010 5:56 pm

smilinglou wrote:i thought i wouldnt be the only one. we live in clacton in essex so its pretty bad here, i cant believe some of the responses that people have got 'proper milk' what do they think breastmilk is then!

Reading your original post, I did think you'd be in either Clacton or Southend, but didn't want to presume. They are pretty bad. We like to visit them, but I wouldn't want to live there.

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Amanda
Cloth Nappy Worshipper
Cloth Nappy Worshipper

Re: Your area and 'acceptance'

Postby Amanda » Fri Mar 05, 2010 6:24 pm

northernruth wrote:Leeds is a city with a similar "scally" reputation but you only have to scratch the surface to find some weirdos lurking :wink:


I'll try not to take offence :giggle:

I live quite close to Ruth, on the edge of a 'village' in north Leeds - it used to be a village but has been swallowed up by the suburbs, but still has the feel of not really living in a big city. It's fairly affluent, plenty of accountants, teachers, doctors, and bf and cloth is pretty common. I'd say a good half of my friends bf or at least tried, and out of a circle of about twelve friends four use cloth at least part time. Babywearing isn't as common but generally isn't frowned upon. There's an estate in the area, which isn't all that bad at all but has it's share of scallies. But I think they're fairly accepting of it all too as have at least been exposed to the weird hippy stuff, even if it's not something they choose to do themselves.

I like to think if I was back home in Belfast I'd make the same choices for my children but it's impossible to say. I doubt I would've had any cloth using role models so may not have even thought to consider it. Who knows? Well done for making informed choices, you may think you're getting criticism and funny looks, but hopefully you've at least made some people think about alternatives, even if they don't follow it through.

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MaryMoon
Cloth Nappy Addict
Cloth Nappy Addict

Re: Your area and 'acceptance'

Postby MaryMoon » Fri Mar 05, 2010 6:48 pm

Interesting. I live in a country market town which has only be introduced to a more diverse (multicultural) community in the last about 6-7 years. I am seen as different because of babywearing and cloth nappy use but I must say that breast feeding is quite common here and is getting more popular. People refer to me as 'earth mother' :giggle: I think it is just a case of getting more info out there. We have monthly sling meets, there are several breastfeeding groups and monthly nappachino meetings so the info is there if people just look for it. I always carry flyers for all the afore mentioned to pass on to people I talk to :wink:

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