Except maybe that my emotions are worse than they would be if I wasn't .
I am feeling a little hurt today, maybe it is needless but either way I think I need to get it out or it will eat at me. I would like to think that for the most part I am not very demanding, for example when asked what I want for Christmas I have told everyone I have no idea, therefore I am not particularly bothered. My birthday is Christmas Eve, so I have had the same question about that, you can imagine my answer. Any, the only person I have actually asked for anything is my OH, I asked for an engagement ring and I asked to be taken out before Xmas/ my birthday as one last night out before we have the new buba. I know there will be some time after Xmas but I thought it would make a nice treat if he would sort out Austin staying somewhere and take me out. I am aware that he has limited time off, he has to work 6 days a weeks so he only gets Saturday night off until after Xmas, I'm not much of a night owl but even a lunch thing would have been nice if we knew Austin was being looked after until the next day as I would obviously then still get a lie in, something I have not had for quite a while as OH has been on 16:00- 00:00 so I know he needs his sleep. Anyway, I know my OH and I while I knew it was a slim chance for some reason I thought he would come through, the only time left that this would have been possible would be next weekend and do you know what I found out today? He has asked his friends to go out! I wouldn't even have been so hurt if he had said that he was going to, because then I could have had chance to say this to him and discuss it, but nooooooo I found out through Facebook (newsfeed, mutual friends, not snooping ). So I will get no engagement ring and no night out and it just upsets me.
The engagement ring is another issue which I may as well rant about seeing as I'm here. I really want OH and I to marry, we have a child together and very soon we will have 2. We live in a husband/ housewife scenario as far as I can see, he goes out and works and I take care of everything in the house and with A as far as I can, yet he won't commit to me! It's something I deal with, it's something he knows makes me unhappy, the only time I could get him to even think about it he was in hospital with cancer and we didn't know if he would come out again. When I ask him about it, he says he's not bothered, it doesn't matter to him, so I just wonder why he won't do it for me. He knows it means something to me, he knows it's something I desperately want and yet he just won't go for it. Aside from a happy healthy life for my babies I want it more than anything but he just won't go for it. I can't even get a straight answer as to why . I'm sure this will left soon but atm I'm just feeling a little blue.