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I managed to be at the hospital for 30 minutes before a row broke out again today, OH still insists there is nothing wrong with him but I don't know what I did wrong today. Long story short he told me not to go back to the hospital to visit him so I think this time I won't, I'll wait for him to get in touch and tell me he wants to see me

it makes me sad that we have come to this when all I want is to be close...

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Well the doctors are still not giving us OH's cancer levels. It's getting to be some kind of round-a-bout game. I ask someone who has to ask someone else which takes so long that I've left the hospital and no-one is telling OH much either. We DO know that his white blood cell count has now hit 0 which is a good and bad thing: good because the only way it can go now is up which means he should be able to come home soon, bad because it means he has no immune system and so is likely to have had every...

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I don't know what to feel or what I am supposed to be doing. Today has just been a day of waiting to go into labour. It doesn't look like its going to happen so need to go back to hospital tomorrow for further induction.

Feeling are changing from one minute being accepting of the horrible news and dreading the following days and feeling sad for my loss, to being ok with it because it is only a foetus and I 'knew' that it was going to end badly and then to the other extreme. I feel like I have hope,...

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We might call the children Experiment #1 and Experiment #2 but sometimes it really does seem like they are experimenting on us.

Isaac sat at the table this morning eating breakfast whilst Anthony and I were getting ready upstairs. Isaac starts to call for daddy.

Anthony comments to me "he'll just need to wait a moment"

"Dad" (short, staccato)
"Dad" (slightly louder)
"Daddy" (gentle)
"Dadeeeee" (sweetly)
'Dad, dad, dad, dad" (insistently,...

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Imogen Rose – Born 22nd April 2009 at 1.48am, weighing 7lb 10.5oz.

For a couple of weeks before my due date of 21st April I had been having increasingly strong braxton hicks and lots of period type pains. As Zach was born at 38 weeks I kept thinking any day now!!!

Zachs birthday on the 19th April came and went and I started thinking about going overdue and what my options would be. On Monday the 20th April I was at the midwife and was offered a sweep which I accepted as I didn’t see why not. The...

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It's like banging my head off a brick wall

Still nothing to go on

Huge mix of emotions

It's all an experiment

The Birth Story of Imogen Rose