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Tomorrow will be OH's first day of chemo and I currently have no idea how I feel about it I don't even know what to write. I have to be strong but sometimes just want to curl up in a corner. Austin can't spend much time with him because he just gets bored and has to be taken out of the hospital, I'm worried he will barely get to see OH if he gets bored and OH is too ill. I'm still not convinced this isn't all some horrid nightmare.

I have Sunday to relax but I think I overdid it yesterday.
Went to Ikea in Southampton having driven over in a new car from Poole. Whenever I'm in the car my ribs really ache, only my right side. I don't know what could cause this,as baby's bum is apparently the closest to that side of my ribs!
Ikea is sooo big, so walked loads, but no heavy lifting for me! Came away with a nice chest of drawers and random bits and bobs such as tupperware for freezing meals to have when baby is here.
We visited my...

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I had forgotten I had this little corner, I'm glad I found it though as today I just need a bit of space to let off steam.
Today I'm tired; physically and mentally and emotionally. It's days like this that I question my own sanity at adding to our family, whether we are doing the right thing, for everyone. How will the older 2 cope? Will I cope? Will J? Or have I just lost the plot and this is going to be a really stupid thing to do?
I don't regret this baby, he is not now and will never be a mistake...

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Had my lesson last Sunday (forgot to update here earlier) and i was on Alfie, who is perhaps a tiny touch bigger than Roxy. Now Alfie was lovely, not quite as stroppy as Roxy (Roxy is typical mare!!) and he was nice. I got some better canters going too!! :wine:

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4 by **eviesmummy** on Sun Sep 25, 2011 2:38 pm 0 Comments Viewed 48247 times

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