Tell me about HE

Thanks Shadow. I'm on the verge of just going ahead and taking him out, but there's just this nagging doubt in the back of my mind - what if DH is right and Ethan really suffers for it? What if he won't engage with me and just strops for the TV all day long? What if he goes later on and hasn't got any friends because he hasn't gone through these early years with them? No-one needs to answer those questions - it's just me doubting that we can do it.

I'm just not going to let it drop until Ethan's happy.

Go for it...
I struggled a bit the first few 'official' weeks of doing it but we are all MUCH happier now and Isabelle is learning way more than she did at school and is so much happier! I feel like I have my daughter back!

To avoid stropping for the TV we go out, do activities etc - and no amount of stropping changes my mind

You can DEFINATELY do it and I agree with Shadow - take him out of nursery now if he's not happy, get yourself subscribed to the local HE groups in your area and start looking into activities now, getting out and about works well for us but we don't do stuff every day as we'd be shattered!! We have a few regular things we do but we also have 'down' days where the girls take the lead and do a lot of imaginative play (and I can do laundry!)

As for friends? If you get involved with local HE groups he'll make plenty of friends no bother And he'll learn to socialise better than he will do being 'made' to get on with 30 kids his own age...

I think sometimes it's hard for us to go against our partners wishes as afterall we are a partnership and both have responsibilities in bringing up our children but when it comes down to it we become the mother fox who defends her young so viciously and ferociously - it's a natural instinct and NOTHING no nothing will get in our way and woe betide anyone who does

At this stage it's only nursery, some children around the country don't get places, some parents don't ever send their children and most children at this age, don't make firm friends anyway. What about all of those families who move areas so children have to start new schools? Those children usually make friends. Kids are resilient, they are more open to change than we think and I'm sure he'll be fine at school when he is ready. Right now, it sounds as if he's really not ready for that setting, he's miserable and doesn't want to go, he doesn't have to for any other reason than you take him! Do what Steph says, get in touch with local HE groups and he will make friends of his own accord, as will you.
Like Steph, we don't do something every day. The boys complain if we go out every day and ask when we can stay at home. We have 3 days during the week with activities, one day at home and then another we can either run errands or stay at home, depending on what needs doing.... and then the weekends of course. You'll be surprised at how much can be learnt at home, often my boys come out with stuff that I have no clue about, they've learnt it themselves.

Thanks both. Will keep you updated!

Hey all,

Just a quick update. We had a major meltdown these last two days. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but when I pick Ethan up he really strops with me, telling me he doesn't want to come with me and saying he wants to go and live with his best friend. When I question him about it he tells me he is in a bad mood with me because "I wanted you to come and get me, but you didn't". Well, yesterday he was almost clinging on to his friend, and wouldn't come with me at all, so I lost it. Not with him, with DH. I ended up telling him that I'd had enough and that I was pulling Ethan out. I told him it's easy for him to lay down the law, when it's not him that's having to enforce it!

Anyhoo, we came to a compromise where he agreed to doing part-time, and I went to the school today and they agreed! It's only nursery, so I guess they're not too bothered about him being there every morning or not, but I'm happy with my my small victory.

I take it Ethans very young? Not yet school age? If so there is no obligation for him to be in Nursery anyway, so don't fret about taking him out.
When he's older you might find that school is the right setting for him (or not) as school and nursery can be very different. It might be the case that he's not ready for school until later as well, you can always look at deferring to school for a year so he has an extra year at home and/or nursery.
We get a lot of deferred entries here, and as a teacher I've never heard a parent say, "I wish I'd sent them earlier." I've heard folk say the opposite though, and said it myself. We decided to keep DD back a year last year and now I feel much more confident she will be socially ready for secondary next year. She is in a 1 class school though so mixing with a very wide age group.