Tell me about HE

i would love to do HE especially now Lillie has started nursery but + this is gonna sound really selfish, i am sick of having no money + i know when i go back to work we will be "comfortable" at the moment we dont have a pot to wee in or a window to throw it out. if it werent for money i would definitely consider it.
sorry no advice for you there so totally pointless reply

I don't HE (would love to though!), but is there no way your DH could be talked round? Write down all the benefits you can think of (or that CNT members can think of!) and ask him to genuinely listen to your points. "School" is a very recent invention really, children learned and socialised all they needed to before then, as long as they had the support and guidance of their parents, and it seems to be a debated matter as to whether school is the best option anyway i.e. most children do just as well HE'd, if not better than traditionaly schooled children. For many jobs these days, qualifications mean very little compared to applicants with experience, enthusiasm, and good thinking skills, and HE children can pull those off quite well, and of course do qualifications if they wish.

How about a compromise of trying it for a year, and evaluating it after that? I think it's only fair to give it a try, a year out of primary school will hardly be detrimental, and you can change your mind if it's not working.

A friend of mine was homeschooled, and she hated it, said it took her years before she was able to socialise well, but she was brought up by super-serious religious parents who kept her at home to "protect" her from everything, and she was often lonely and rarely got to play. I think some people see this view of HE as the norm (because they don't know how different it can be!) and worry about their children's social skills - which is the point everyone brings up if I were to talk about HE.

i would love to do HE especially now Lillie has started nursery but + this is gonna sound really selfish, i am sick of having no money + i know when i go back to work we will be "comfortable" at the moment we dont have a pot to wee in or a window to throw it out. if it werent for money i would definitely consider it.
sorry no advice for you there so totally pointless reply

Would you be any worse off if you weren't paying nursery fees, childcare, etc? Would your child tax credits change if you lost an income?

Thanks again for the replies. I think I'll keep and eye on him for the next few weeks, and if he remains unhappy I will go back to the school with a view to trying HE at least one day per week. My only reservation with this is that taking him out one day per week could be counter-productive. If he's working on certain things in school he could end up falling behind.

DH's reluctance is the only thing that stops us from HE. To answer PP's question, his view relates to his qualifications - how that would affect him in the long term, etc... and the social side of school. I tried to explain to him that others HE and their children go on to Uni, and he's said that he doesn't give two hoots as he's not willing to take a chance that it'll all work out fine for our LO's. With that point of view there's really not much I can do to shift him.

I think it all goes back to an episode of USA Wife Swap he watched ( ) - the one family HE'd their children, and when the swap occurred the other family's Mum sent them to school when it was her turn to enforce her rules on them. Apparently the children performed atrociously in comparison to others of the same age, and I think DH sees that as being how all HE'd children are. Of course, I know that's tripe, but the damage is done to his view of HE now and I can't change that unfortunately.

Why don't you try suggesting a compromise? Start HE and if it's not working out then send them to school He can check them regularly for 'performance' against school based books and stuff.

Sorry for delayed reply, I've just been so busy! Ethan is still miserable, but DH's attitude is "He has to get on with it, we're not taking him out and that's that!".

The thing is, it's really getting us both down. Ethan takes out his hurt on me, and when I pick him up from Nursery this translates into him stropping with me the second he sees me. The other kids all run out the door into their Mum's arms. On Friday, Ethan wouldn't even walk out of the door towards me. When I try to talk to him he says that he missed me, and he wanted me to come and get him but I didn't. I just don't know what to do for the best anymore. I mentioned nursery today to Ethan, and he's already said "I don't want to go to Nursery", so I'm dreading the coming week.

Personally I think it's up to you not your DH and him trying to 'lay the law down' like this is hurting all of you...

I agree completely Steph.

His attitude is really difficult to work with on this subject, as he won't really enter into a dialogue with me about what we can do to sort this out. He agreed to part-time home schooling, so last night I told him that I'm going to give Ethan until half term (last day 21st Oct, so two full weeks left) and if there's no improvement by then I'm going to go to the school and go ahead with part time. The way I see it is that if I can do that and make progress with Ethan DH will be forced to see that it's better, if that makes sense?

I absolutely hated school, but I was bullied. DH knows that if I ever suspected that I would have Ethan out of there in a flash - and I wouldn't give two hoots about his opinion as the bullying and daily torment I experienced still affects me now. I don't want to just go over his head if I can help it though. Last night I put it in terms of not wanting to force Ethan now, as I don't want his whole experience of being taught to be negative. He's such a bright little fella (he can recite whole books like the Grufallo with almost no help) that it would be such a shame to 'lose' him before it's even really begun. I keep trying to stress that Ethan is a real baby when it comes to nursery too as he'd only turned three two weeks before he went. Apart from this I'm not sure how else I can really talk to DH about it?

You may find that the school won't consider part-time. It's up to them, they don't have to agree with it. However, a child doesn't have to be in school until they are 5, so you can do what you like until then and then if you think HE is for the best you've had a chance to try it out. You do have 2 yrs to consider it (assuming your ticker is correct) and tbh, if he's really not happy at nursery then I'd take him out regardless. He doesn't have to be there after all.