Babies & Sleep!

So Oscar isn't great at getting to sleep

He's fine if he's which is how he usually falls asleep, not great I know, now within 10-20 minutes of me leaving him in our bed/moving him to his cot/anything really, he is wide awake crying.this happens from 7pm to 10/11pm until I go to bed and he stays asleep until his night feed.

This happens in the day now as well, 20 minutes of sleep then scream until he gets needless to say I am now red raw and every feed is uncomfortable (never had a great latch but that's another story) he will not take a dummy/bottle and Daddy trying to soothe him results in high pitch screams which we can't have with an almost autistic 4 year old in the next room.

I've just got him off to sleep and put him in his buggy and so far he is still asleep, that a whole hour! So I guess he's associated bedtime with me leaving him so he needs to cry/scream to get me back until I stay. How do I get out of this routine?!! What am I missing? I can't remember Sam doing this so I'm not sure what to do to get him to self soothe? I'm not into crying it out so that's a no go for me Any other suggestions that I'm missing?

DD was just the same, it was a real shock to me when DS just went to sleep easily and stayed down. With hindsight I think I used to feed DD when she was tired rather than hungry, this then gave her wind, but she'd fall asleep on the boob so I never wanted to risk waking her by burping her, so I'd put her down, but then 20 mins later the wind would move, waking her up, and we'd do it all over again. My advice would be to try rocking etc to put him to sleep, only feeding as a last resort if you know he's already been fed. Also keep him upright for 15-20 mins after his last feed. Good luck x