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Just putting ryan new routine UD PG7

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laceybat
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Re: Just putting ryan new routine UD PG2

Postby laceybat » Mon Aug 06, 2012 8:15 pm

well DP talks to him and i just sit there. i'm doing tomorrow night as DP is useless and can't do what we have settled on it's him telling me not to talk to him and just put him back and thats is so why the hell is he not doing it oh cause he crying cousre he is cause that gets him what he want with you you idiot

he has said he will leave me to it tomorrow night i hope he does. he doesn't get that it will be horrible for the few weeks but after he gets better and will go to bed when we ut him there

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teganplus2
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Re: Just putting ryan new routine UD PG2

Postby teganplus2 » Mon Aug 06, 2012 8:19 pm

:( sounds like DP is taking the easy option. It is sad that he hasn't stuck to what you agreed as that is def what is best for Ryan, which is what is important when all is said and done!

Life would be easier all around if Ryan is sorted before the new bubba arrives and that means you working together, it's no good you going in and sticking to your plans tomorrow if he is just going to take the easy option the next day, nor is it fair for you to deal with it on your own!!

You and DP need to have another chat and he needs to understand how important it is that you are both on the same page!

xx

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laceybat
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Re: Just putting ryan new routine UD PG2

Postby laceybat » Mon Aug 06, 2012 8:25 pm

I've just told him i'll do bed time for a week to see if doing it my way will work and if it dose he will stick to it if not he has ryan every night from now on not me

i'm fed up of being ganged up on as DP mother things we should just let him go to bed when he wants so DP is a greeing with her as he hate upsetting ryan well tough he need to go to bed and sleep so he's not so angery all the time

i some time wish i was on my own at bedtime and he was still working till 8-9 at night so so i could get him in bed on time

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Miss_Purple
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Re: Just putting ryan new routine UD PG2

Postby Miss_Purple » Mon Aug 06, 2012 8:29 pm

I agree with the other ladies - if he sleeps in late and then has a nap he's never going to go to bed earlier. Annabel gets up between 6.30 and 7.30am and goes to bed between 7 and 8pm with no nap in between, she's not quite 3. If she has a nap because she is really tired then she will be up until 9-9.30. Luckily she is very good and will lay in bed reading a story to herself quite happily, but it still mucks up our days so I try to be very strict with timings. We have tea about 5.30-6pm, then at 6.30-7pm we go upstairs, get ready for bed, bath every other night (long one if she's wide awake, quick one if she's tired) then brush teeth and into bed for 2-3 stories then lights out. Some nights either DH or I stay with her, she likes us to lie down and cuddle her while she falls asleep, but not every night, so we indulge her if she does want us to (particularly since DS was born).

she sleeps 12 hours straight and hasn't woken in the night for about 6 months except for when she had a bad cough, but even then we just gave her a drink of water and she turned over and went back to sleep.

Both of mine are excellent sleepers, but I am uber strict about nighttimes - once we go up to bed then we don't come back downstairs again for anything - in the early days I would be upstairs with them from about 7pm until they fell asleep no matter how long it took. Nor do we ever turn the lights on again. In the morning if she wakes before 7am then we all get into bed for a cuddle, then as soon as it's 7am we get up - she often lies there waiting for me to say she can get up, but at least she knows the rules :giggle:

good luck for changing the routine - you can do it, and hopefully you will all be happier as a result x

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gilbertandmartha
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Re: Just putting ryan new routine UD PG2

Postby gilbertandmartha » Mon Aug 06, 2012 8:34 pm

If i've ever had to make changes, then I do it when DH is away. Its so much easier to tell him what to do and stick to it, rather than let him try. sounds harsh, but men don't get the knock on effect that they cause. they don't see the bad behaviour the next day.

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Jellybelly6
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Re: Just putting ryan new routine UD PG2

Postby Jellybelly6 » Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:05 pm

Sticking with it for a week sounds good, you will probably start to reap the benifits within that time. Lots of good advice from the previous ladies.

My eldest was always a nightmare at bedtime but I always swore that I have to train my DH at the same time as putting in a new routine. He always made things much worse and would start engaging with my son and then getting angry at him and it was a bad place for a while as my son would anticipate us falling out and everyone getting wound up (worse because we are in a flat so I couldn't send DH downstairs :giggle: )

It is nearly always ok now as I took over bedtime for a month, then when it was obvious it was working well, explained to DH what I was doing and why and let him find his own way to achieve the same thing (important as I work some late shifts so I am not always around) and bingo, we have finally got there :D

Good luck and I always found being the most boring mummy at the bedroom door repeating (if I had to speak) the same boring "night night love you" worked well with a good routine.

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Caroline
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Re: Just putting ryan new routine UD PG2

Postby Caroline » Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:11 pm

Miss_Purple wrote:I agree with the other ladies - if he sleeps in late and then has a nap he's never going to go to bed earlier. Annabel gets up between 6.30 and 7.30am and goes to bed between 7 and 8pm with no nap in between, she's not quite 3. If she has a nap because she is really tired then she will be up until 9-9.30. Luckily she is very good and will lay in bed reading a story to herself quite happily, but it still mucks up our days so I try to be very strict with timings. We have tea about 5.30-6pm, then at 6.30-7pm we go upstairs, get ready for bed, bath every other night (long one if she's wide awake, quick one if she's tired) then brush teeth and into bed for 2-3 stories then lights out. Some nights either DH or I stay with her, she likes us to lie down and cuddle her while she falls asleep, but not every night, so we indulge her if she does want us to (particularly since DS was born).

she sleeps 12 hours straight and hasn't woken in the night for about 6 months except for when she had a bad cough, but even then we just gave her a drink of water and she turned over and went back to sleep.

Both of mine are excellent sleepers, but I am uber strict about nighttimes - once we go up to bed then we don't come back downstairs again for anything - in the early days I would be upstairs with them from about 7pm until they fell asleep no matter how long it took. Nor do we ever turn the lights on again. In the morning if she wakes before 7am then we all get into bed for a cuddle, then as soon as it's 7am we get up - she often lies there waiting for me to say she can get up, but at least she knows the rules :giggle:

good luck for changing the routine - you can do it, and hopefully you will all be happier as a result x


Danika, just be careful you aren't too strict :wink: As kids, we were not allowed downstairs under any circumstances either and, it led to me vomiting down the loo on my own as I was too scared to tell my Mum I didn't feel well (she would have not listened to me and told me to go back to bed again). I would have been about 7 at the time. If I was unwell I would sit on the stairs crying hoping that someone would hear me :( I wouldn't break the rules you see.

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Miss_Purple
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Re: Just putting ryan new routine UD PG2

Postby Miss_Purple » Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:28 pm

Caroline wrote:Danika, just be careful you aren't too strict :wink: As kids, we were not allowed downstairs under any circumstances either and, it led to me vomiting down the loo on my own as I was too scared to tell my Mum I didn't feel well (she would have not listened to me and told me to go back to bed again). I would have been about 7 at the time. If I was unwell I would sit on the stairs crying hoping that someone would hear me :( I wouldn't break the rules you see.


:hug: that's sad :-( I am not that strict in so much as I tell them not to come downstairs, I just mean that I have never taken them back downstairs - so even if they are wide awake we stay upstairs reading quietly, not come down into the lounge - do you see what I mean?

There is no way that I wouldn't hear one of them if they were crying though - I hear the slightest murmur and check on them regularly - if DD told me she didn't feel well I would sit with her until she fell back to sleep, or let her come in my room with me.

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laceybat
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Re: Just putting ryan new routine UD PG2

Postby laceybat » Tue Aug 07, 2012 6:40 am

Well final he was asleep by 10 so it was an improvement and i woke him up at 7.30 this morning we just having some quiet time in my room so i can tidy and make the bed and sort out his room before we go down stairs. I'll get him dresses as well as this is going to be the new routine too as so i don't have trouble getting him dressed in the mornings wheni tcome to Pre school.
it my turn tonight to do it how i want to do it

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