hf1

Niggly Issue with DD

My avatar
BingBongBoo
Cloth Nappy Addict
Cloth Nappy Addict

Niggly Issue with DD

Postby BingBongBoo » Fri Aug 17, 2012 6:00 pm

It's not a big deal but I'm having this issue with DD1 (3) where she'll say she wants one thing, and when I say that's fine, immediately start to cry, scream or moan that she wants something else. This happens maybe 10 times a day and I'm finding it very irritating. Not least because it's normally over something so small, KWIM? A few examples from today:

Me: We're going out. Please put your shoes on
DD: OK, can I wear my Crocs?
Me: Yes, that's fine
DD: No! No, Mummy! I don't want to wear my Crocs! I want my sandals!

And

Me: Would you like an apple or a banana for your snack?
DD: A banana
Me: Are you sure?
DD: Yes
When presented with a sliced banana: No, Mummy, I don't WANT this, I want and apple! I want an apple!

And

She was rubbing her eyes during her bedtime story and said she was tired so...
Me: Shall we finish this story tomorrow? Do you want to go to bed now?
DD: Yes Mummy, I'm very sleepy
Up the stairs we go and then...
DD: Mummy, where's my story? Finish my story, Mummy! Please, please, Mummy! (Crying)

I'm sure I'm not helping by not being very consistent in my approach. Sometimes if she changes her mind I let her so this morning she put her sandals on not her Crocs. But a lot of the time I go with what she originally said she wanted. So for her snack this afternoon, I told her she could have a banana or nothing because I'd already cut it up. Does anyone else have this issue? How do/would you handle it? As I said, it's not a big thing but it's one that's adding unnecessary stress to our day.

Thanks, Ladies!

My avatar
gilbertandmartha
Cloth Nappy Aficionado
Cloth Nappy Aficionado

Re: Niggly Issue with DD

Postby gilbertandmartha » Fri Aug 17, 2012 6:10 pm

This is my life! seriously I have no idea what to do, but its day in day out.

today Lockie was watching his favourite show. He wanted to watch it, the music started and he started bawling because he didnt want THAT episode... he didnt even know what episode it was, I tried rationalising and explaining but it was no use so he sobbed the whole way through the show!

I'm just hoping this phase passes soon

My avatar
sim
Cloth Nappy Wise Woman
Cloth Nappy Wise Woman

Re: Niggly Issue with DD

Postby sim » Fri Aug 17, 2012 6:15 pm

:hug: :hug:

I was there not so very long ago with Ewan. He did grow out of it (mostly)...

I took the approach of asking him to get the shoes / undies / tshirt he wanted to wear (and only having appropriate choices accessible :wink: ) With snacks I would put two (uncut) choices in front of him and be clear that once he had chosen, that was it. Sometimes he ended up in the room by himself as I just had to walk away and leave him to his strop.

As always, consistency is the key - easier said than done, I know :hug:

My avatar
Caroline
Cloth Nappy Aficionado
Cloth Nappy Aficionado

Re: Niggly Issue with DD

Postby Caroline » Fri Aug 17, 2012 6:16 pm

I would be tempted to make the decisions for them. I think at that age there are so many choices to make in one day it can fry their brains! I remember India going through something similar so I picked what cereal she had for breakfast, picked her outfits etc and it soon passed.

My avatar
Johanna21
Cloth Nappy Lover
Cloth Nappy Lover

Re: Niggly Issue with DD

Postby Johanna21 » Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:05 pm

That sounds very familiar! 3 year old dd who has daily meltdowns about being given what she's asked for :-? I'm trying to remain calm and go back over the choices and if it's something easily changed (TV programme, shoes, etc) I don't mind changing once she's calm. Food and drink, I tend to say she has to eat/drink what she asked for then she can have the other thing. This is enough to calm her and she usually forgets by the time she's finished - or else I end up with a lot of cups to wash!

The meltdowns are getting slightly less frequent so my plan is to try not to stress over it and hope it passes quickly.

My avatar
Cyrillia
Cloth Nappy Fanatic
Cloth Nappy Fanatic

Re: Niggly Issue with DD

Postby Cyrillia » Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:38 pm

I feel your pain when it comes to this as Ethan is the same!

My avatar
Twinkletoes
Cloth Nappy Addict
Cloth Nappy Addict

Re: Niggly Issue with DD

Postby Twinkletoes » Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:45 pm

I'd limit the choices too. Still offer some, but if you minimise it, that'll give you the strength to be consistent in approach when faced with this, and hopefully build back up again. :hug:

My avatar
fivefourfour
Cloth Nappy Fanatic
Cloth Nappy Fanatic

Re: Niggly Issue with DD

Postby fivefourfour » Fri Aug 17, 2012 9:53 pm

I allow M to choose things (eg snack or outfit) from a choice of two. I do make it clear that once choosen, she has to stick to it. However, I don't always enforce it if she meltsdown, because sometimes you can change your mind, I do it all the time and I like to treat her as I would treat an adult (within reasons).

My avatar
BingBongBoo
Cloth Nappy Addict
Cloth Nappy Addict

Re: Niggly Issue with DD

Postby BingBongBoo » Sat Aug 18, 2012 12:56 pm

Well, I'm relieved to hear that it's quite a common toddler issue! When I mentioned it to my IRL firends, nobody had experienced it. I think the suggestion of deciding for her on some things is a good one @Caroline This morning, instead of asking her what she wanted for breakfast, I just presented her with egg on toast and fruit which she gobbled up. Made a nice change from the usual morning squabbles! Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm going to have another read through the replies and see if any of the other suggestions would also work for us.


Return to Baby and Toddler

cron