I need some serious coping strategies

Ok this will be quick, Lockie is super sad ALL the time, everything is wrong. I know a lot of it has to do with Lola and i'm trying to involve him.

But I cannot cope with all the tears and crying and whining about everything. and I mean literally everything. This mornings meltdown was that his juice didnt reach up to the top of the flies wings on his juice bottle!!!!!

What the heck am I supposed to do. I ask him to talk to me in a big boy voice, and I have started sending him to his room when he is sad and tell him to read a book until he is happy. But to be perfectly honest I am getting very mad at him, and I don't know what to do.

To do with Lola, how?

Jealousy? (((hugs))) I know ds has those sorts of "moments", he's 3 and a lot is to do with tiredness, frustration because he can't do something, or because I'm trying to sort the youngest out (youngest is now 16 mths lol). I just have to be patient with him, I ask him how he'd like it done, or I just involve him in something else to take his mind off it. It's just a phase, he'll settle down again quickly I'm sure. It just takes some children longer to adjust to a new sibling and that you can't do everything immediately as you once did before said sibling arrived. Have you got a bag of special books that maybe he can have in a place where when he is feeling like this, that he could go and sit and read, with a teddy, that might cheer him up and take his mind off the "stress" that he's feeling?

Could you give him special jobs to do? Involves him, keeps him busy, and you could build in some 'reward' like choosing a game or book to play/read with you?

Yes, I would involve him more and try not to send him away unless he's being outright naughty. I saw something last night somewhere on the net (wish I could remember now!) where it said that sometimes, when they're acting the least deserving of affection, they actually need it the most. I think this is one of those times for you. I'd try giving him more choices - I know it's hard, but sometimes with Ethan I have to check with him about everything. E.g, using your example about the juice I might have to say 'How much juice would you like in your bottle today?!', then when he answered say something like 'Wow, you're going to be a thirsty boy today aren't you!'. Have fun with him, tickle him and generally fuss about him like he's your number one. Kiss him at every opportunity.



I know it's hard. Ethan is one of those LO's who just need me to go that extra mile to keep him happy, but it works and it's easier than dealing with tantrums and melt downs. In our family, whilst I know that he eventually needs to learn his place in the family, even if I sat him down and told him, at the moment he's too young to process and understand that. He'll learn it eventually when he sees how much I fuss over his brothers and still do it for him too.

HTH,
Sarah

I have no experience.. but i'm sure i've read somewhere hat smeimes children regress a bit when siblings arrive.. so act more babyish.. suddenly want baby comforts etc.. maybe this is similar? He is lost a bit of emotional maturity?
I reckon a huge load of cuddles and 'mummy loves you so so much' might help? (not implying that you dont already!)
Xxx

I think he needs the extra attention too. Jen did similar when james was born. I think its really hard for some children to adjust to new sibs. I think in their mind, you have done something awful and it feels really rejecting, hence the regression and demand for extra attention in the most difficult of ways. It passes quickly with lots of extra love and attention, and they soon realise that you havent rejected them and that siblings can be fun too!

I think you are all on the right track, I am just finding it so hard. If Lola isnt asleep then she's grumbling and crying (which he doesnt like), and so I'm trying to soothe her, pacify riley and then deal with Lockie's meltdowns. I do need to spend more time with him, but i'm just not sure how

Hmmm, sounds familiar. Zach was 3 when Imogen was born and he certainly became more babyish and TBH he still has a habit of acting like Imogen at times which I find very frustrating.

Also, Imogen is a similar age and can still be an absolute nightmare about things like your example of a drink not being filled right. 3 is a funny age I think, the terrible two's are left behind but the irrationable behaviour still continues to an extent.

Hugs. xxx