What age did your LO sleep through the night?

Matthew's sleep is worse than ever now after our holiday and with teething at the minute.
He now goes down at 8, wakes around 9, then 10.30 or so, then about midnight, then around 2, 5, then 8am he's up for the day.
Some nights it's worse than this but rarely better.
When he wakes he doesn't fuss a little then go back to sleep, he screams and cries... He usually only feeds once a night now if even that, although sometimes on a bad night he bfs more for comfort I think.

I keep hearing about all these friend's babies that are sleeping through at 8 weeks and I just want to cry!

Matthew slept in a Moses basket beside me at the start, then co sleeping because I was so exhausted getting up constantly, now we're trying the cot for the first part of the night. But he's never been a good sleeper.
Part of me thinks it's just him, just his character (DH is a terrible sleeper too, wakes loads at night and needs very little sleep) but other times I think I must be doing something terribly wrong

So, what age did your LOs start usually sleeping through the night? And how did you get them to do it??? Everyone keeps suggesting CIO but I really really don't want to do that. Tbh I'd rather be exhausted for the next year than let him cry his heart out for hours.
Any advice?

Thanks!

Joanne

Oh (((((Joanne)))))...

Oh how I feel for you - you could be describing Isabelle as she was at that age... I too wanted to cry!!!

I'm afraid Isabelle didn't sleep through until she was 11months or so when she decided she preferred sleeping on her front (we put her down back or side and she'd roll onto front) - she doesn't always sleep through now but if she does wake now unless she's poorly it's usually only once a night due to her asthma...
She does often need a settle in the early evening but often a quick cuddle is what's needed and takes no time at all...

We've never done CIO or CC as not only do I dislike them personally - they would not have suited Isabelle as a High Needs baby (see dr.sears!)...

We've co-slept with Isabelle on and off when she's needed it but she seems to sleep better in her cot - she went in her own room at 10months as we were disturbing her through the night and she started sleeping a little better immediately (altho' not as much as we wanted!) but I think it wasn't a huge improvement as she needed to get used to her own room - so we play in there a lot (but not close to bed time if poss)...

I think we also introduced a bedtime routine around 9months ish and it seemed to take a while to kick in but now she knows when it's bedtime...
It's nothing complicated - just quiet/calm play for 10-20mins before going upstairs (unless she's cranky/tired) e.g. reading a book together, then sometimes a bath, change into night nappy in our room - nice sleepy breastfeed on our bed and then we put her into her room in her cot, sleepy but she knows where she is... If that doesn't work we cuddle/bounce/rock her until she's sleepy and then put her down.

I think another reason she stopped waking so often in the night was at one point I just couldn't take it anymore - she wasn't poorly, just thirsty! So DH started going in and settling her with water (but bringing her into our room for a feed if she was upset and wouldn't settle - i.e. wanted mummy and mummy alone!) and sometimes a quick cuddle and water was all she wanted, but if I'd gone in she would have insisted on milk...

Also DH would put her to bed as she tended to be awake after BFs at that age (altho' has gone back to feeding to sleep/sleepy again) and I found that the nights he put her down she'd sleep for longer periods - like she didn't wake and wonder where I was perhaps?

My DH has never been a great sleeper in terms of going to bed and knowing when to wind down but he does need his sleep and boy is he cranky if he doesn't get it!
Isabelle is very similar, neither of them like sleeping or going to bed but if they are at all tired they're not nice to know!!!

Honestly I very much doubt you've done anything wrong!
It's probably partly his character, partly his age...

I remember times when she'd wake and just fuss - nothing would work, feeding cuddles etc...

Early evening used to be the worst - we'd be up and down the stairs a lot while trying to eat our tea and not get indigestion!

Does he settle easily at going to bed time?

Currently Isabelle goes to bed around 6ish (early I know) and then if she's not woken before will usually wake at 5am (I think this is some kind of baby witching hour regardless of blackout blinds etc!!) and doesn't always go back to sleep either...

2am seems to be another common time...

His sleep pattern sounds very reminiscant of what Isabelle used to do, and mostly we just grin and bore it - occasionally going to bed at the same time as her just to catch up (still do that sometimes now!)

IT WILL END!!!

There are a couple of books that come recommended - one of them is the "no cry sleep solution" which we didn't follow like you're supposed to but took bits from (totally not how you're supposed to use it!) and another is "the science of parenting" which I keep meaning to buy...

Teething makes things SOOOOOOOO much worse, do you give him calpol at bedtime at all and if so do you find it helps?
If calpol/nurofen don't seem to be helping it may be that it's not his teeth/pain that are causing him to wake...

Another potential point is could he have reflux? I know that caused Isabelle alot of pain at night (didn't bother her much during the day) that calpol could not fix...

8months is a common milestone for starting to eat more too so I'm sure ppl will be asking you how his food intake is?

I know it sounds obvious but I had to constantly remind myself to eliminate the obvious such as wet nappy - even if it's not soggy it might be uncomfortable, is he too hot/cold? Isabelle's a HUGE fusspot with temperature and if she's too warm or cold will wake very frequently...
And of course hunger/thirst/pain...

I hope you can take something away from my HUGE ramble/essay and if you have any questions give me a shout as I would love to help even if only to reassure you that you're not alone and it isn't that unusual...

HUGS


Steph xxx

Steph, thank you! I'm in tears reading your reply (probably a lot to do with tiredness), just to know that I'm not alone, others have been there, someone hasn't suggested CIO, and to see that you've taken the time to write such a long reply. I really do appreciate it.
The little rascal has woken again, DH could do with a break I think, so this is very quick reply. I'll reread your msg again tomorrow and reply properly.
Thanks again

Joanne

((((joanne)))) I know how hard it is when you aren't getting sleep and everyone else's baby seems to sleep through.

Katie derfinitely didn't until she was about 18mths and even now will often wake and end up co-sleeping as it's the only way I can cope.

CC never worked with her. I found it so hard to listen to and she never gave in anyway so it was just sreacming for no reason.

I will reply more tomorrw when I'm not so tired and can remember what we did when to try and help. Stopping night feeds did make a bit of difference but then it was harder to get her back to sleep when she did wake. Shje just likes to be close to me and will sleep in my arms but wake if I put her down - now she asks me to lie in her bed

Enough tired rambling now, I hope your night isn't too bad hun ((()))

love Ali x

Oh joanne I could of wrote that myself, Phebie isn't sleeping through either and I plainly have no idea what to do, Hannah on the other hand slept through every night from 5 weeks old ~ I have no magic treatment though I really think that its just something they do. With the girls Phebie is much needier and demanding than Hannah ever was and I think that has a huge part to play.

Phebies current routine at night is bed at 8.30ish then she wakes at 11,2.30, 6, and then up for the day usually at 8ish to say I'm exhasted is an understatment.

I really dont like CC but I have given it a go on more than one occasion with no success so I would never reccommend it to anyone. Phebie will just scream and scream and will not stop no matter what you do, she has to be bf back to sleep. The one thing that really gets me though is she has slept thro$ugh before so I know she can do it and now she just refuses.

I asked my most helpful child health nurse for some advice and she asked what I did when she woke and I said I feed her, her most helpful reply was 'Oh well you just answered your own question didn't you, your feeding her so your giving her a reason to wake' hmmm well if I dont feed her she gets hysterical and wont go back to sleep!

Enough about me ~ the things that I would suggest are ~ maybe upping the amount of food he is having through the day, it maybe that hes hungry doubtful but worth a try
Set up a bedtime routine and stick to it.
Try giving a drink of water when he wakes at night - he might just be thirsty
Is he maybe getting to much sleep during the day~ if Phebie gets hardly any sleep through the day she actually sleeps a little better at night.

and lastly if all else fails run yelling and screaming from the house

I seriously doubt that its anything your doing wrong, some babies just aren't good sleeper and it doesn't matter what we do.

(((((((()))))))) hugs for you and I'm here if you ever want to chat about the lack of sleep or have a rant

Oh ((((((())))))) for you Joanne. I, like you (and all the other mummies) have been through this too. We used to co-sleep with Lily when she was really young, then decided when she was two months old that she should go into her own bed (the cot). I was finding it really tiring to rock/cuddle/pace up and down to put her to sleep (sometimes it would take hours) so we decided to teach her to fall asleep on her own. We used the baby whisperer shush/pat method and also played a cd (sounds of silence) in the background which mimicked the sounds of the womb. It was really tough going at first as she would just cry her little heart out and I remember many nights standing over her cot bawling but the great thing about the method is that it allows them to cry (which bw said is a healthy way for them to communicate) but you never leave their side until they are asleep. I think it took us about 6 weeks and we could put her straight into her bed at night wide awake and she wold go to sleep by herself .

I think Steph mentioned a bedtime routine as well. This is a fab idea as it gives them a sleep cue (so they know when this happens it's time for sleep). We used to do bath, bf, cuddle/song then bed. I find this settled her a lot better and she slept better through the night.

Lily started sleeping through the night at around eight months. I knew at this point that she could go without a feed during the night (as I had to be rushed to hospital one night and I wasn't there and dh got her back to sleep). So again I used a little of the bw methods pat/shush and eventually used a little of cc. It only took us three nights of cc and Lily slept through without any fuss. I was a bit of a wuss though and the longest I would leave her was 15mins, but it did work. Like steph said though it's important when you choose any method that you eliminate all the other things that may be wrong (sickness, hot, cold, wet, hungry etc) so that you know it's not anything else.

Most importantly though whatever you choose to do you have to be consistant. Babies can get very confused if you start doing things different every time so choose how you want to approach the situation and stick to it. Talk about it with dh so your both clear on what you're doing (my dh was great at following methods and being really helpful at night).

What I wanted to say most of all is though don't worry about those mothers who have young babies who sleep through the night (they are rare). Do what is best for you and your bubs because you're the mum and you get to do it your way as you know best.

Take care, and sending you good sleepy vibes,

Sam....

Joanne, i hope these responses are at leat making you feel that you are not alone...and maybe there are bits of advice you use?
Taneli was the wonder child who slept thru from 6-8 weeks, and then everynight except when he was ill (and for a week after he was better, and then we went onto CC (tried the softer methods of holding and staying in the room first), Zacharia (bless him!) never ate enough, so when he woke its cos he was hungry, and i couldn't do CC, as i knew exactly what the problem was! Now that he is bigger and eating more, he does sleep thru most nights, except when he is teething so doesn't eat enough during the day and needs milk at night, or not feeling good. (but has only donr this for a few months (maybe 3 at the most...poss only 2)
i am a user of CC, but could never advise someone else to use it as i feel it is so personal to your childs nature. Taneli got overtired very quick and would never sleep being held or with any 'distractions' (people), so we swiftly learnt that CC was the best solution for him..obviously prevention was better than cure, he Taneli had a very strict routine, both for nights and day time naps. during the day it was as simple as changing his nappy and explaining to him that it was sleep time, singing him a sog in my arms and putting him down to sleep with a muslin and saying 1 phrase (the same for every bed time) ours was 'night night Taneli / Zacharia, I love you, sleep well, have sweet and lovely dreams, see you in the morning / soon, when you wake up'. anytime ether off them wake in the night, that same phrase is repeated to they know i mean bussiness when i put them back down!!
bed time routine has evoloved thru the times! Taneli used to have a bath, then wtach 20 minutes of C beebies, and then cup of milk and bed. in bed we did bedtome prayers and then said the magic phrase. (this routine must have been when he was old er than 8 months tho, prob at 18 months plus, as he wouldn't ahve sat still to watch tv before then!! cant remebr what we did before then.) now we do bath, Pj's , Prayers, story, magic phrase and bed. and Zacharia, does Bath, Pj's prayers, story, downstairs for bottle, magic phrase and bed.
with Zacharia i only used CC when i was possitive that he was eating plenty and had just got into the habit of waking.
also, both my kids slept in their own room s from very early on. from birth they were put in the big cot to 'play' and Taneli moved into the big cot at 8 weeks, and zacharia soon after, which makes it much easier not to respond to every little scrath...as thats wht i was doing, and thus disturbing them myself!!
hope some of this helps, and something someone says is useful to you
Love
Shevi

Girls, thank you all so much for your replies.
We had a not so great night last night but I'm feeling more positive this morning. I think I've just been feeling really down about it lately because I seem to be surrounded by all these perfect little babies sleeping through early and easily.

I'm just so glad to hear there is hope!! I'm quite prepared that Matthew may not sleep through consistently til he's 2 or so (from all I've read I really think it may take him til then) but just longer stretches of sleep would be brilliant. I'd love it if he'd sleep all evening so I could get stuff done.

Anyway, thank you all for the advice - you've given me some new things to try. I think the key is being able to put him down sleepy but not asleep (which is proving quite difficult but hopefully we'll get there!)
We currently have a consistent bedtime routine, waves CD thing playing in his room and same cuddly bunny to sleep with (which he doesn't seem attached to at all ) but he has to be bf / rocked / carried to sleep. When we just put him down he cries his heart out So that's what we need to tackle.
I don't mind rocking him to sleep at night but it's hard doing it over and over all night long!
Food intake could also be something - I think if I split the bf before bed - one side before bath, the other after, he might be fuller before falling asleep. I also think I'll give water a try overnight.

Thanks again for taking the time to respond, I honestly feel so much better knowing I'm not the only one who's struggled with this.
And Beck, love your suggestion of running screaming from the house - might have to use that one sometime

Joanne xo

Steph, I have the no cry sleep solutiong (have used some wee bits from it) but I'll look out for the other book you mentioned, thanks!