Highly strung / needy / full on babies / toddlers

[clothmama]

As many of you know I have struggled with Remy's sleep and behavior all his life really. Right from the start he has loathed being mucked around with - nappy changes, clothes changes equal hysterical screaming and always have (we are getting there slowly with this by lots of distraction and getting him to 'help' by holding the wipes etc). I have been reading some stuff on line about high need babies and it seems to describe Remy quite well!

Most say that these kids tend to be quite smart (based on his vocab I'd say this is probably true) and end up as quite driven successful adults - just need to hang on a bit then just hard work now!

There is a US doctor who has written quite a few articles (he has one of these kids!) that I found good to read and that are actually changing how I'm thinking about Remy's behaviors and my response to them. http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health ... -need-baby
and here is a chart of describing words that he gave that so describe Remy!!
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health ... hild-grows
INFANT
alert
intense
draining
demanding
cries impressively
loud
unconsolable
supersensitive
high-touch
TODDLER-CHILD
busy
high-strung
exhausting
spunky
energetic
stubborn
impatient
strong-willed
obstinate
discerning
challenging
expressive
tantrum-prone
interesting
tender
huggable
TEEN-ADULT
enthusiastic
deep
passionate
resourceful
dominating
opinionated
determined
persistent
insightful
fair
sociable
compassionate
empathetic
caring
affectionate

It seems it is fairly normal as well for them to wake a couple of times in the night so I think I need to reprogramme my expectations and just go with the flow a bit more - maybe consider a 2 waking a good night and a 1 waking a fantastic night

I'm going to keep researching and will share any info I find interesting, am hoping it will help me enjoy him a bit more even when he is at his most challenging!

[clothmama]

I think it has been a shock to the system more so as I presumed that being my 3rd I'd have it downpat by now and the other 2 were so chilled out that I feel like I'm in unchartered waters - it really is such different parenting!

Eddie obviously has additional needs but a lot of that list describes him. He woke sooooo many times as did Oscar. Both boys are really bright and did so much processing overnight that it woke them.

Tom didn't sleep through until he was about 5 1/2 he did everything else early, walked at 9 months, speaking in sentences at just after 12 months I always put it down to the fact he is just a busy person. Even now he never stops being busy with his dancing, gymnastics, music summer school, normal summer school and cubs. All of his activities are his own choices and if he ever asked to give any up I wouldn't mind (in fact I'd be quite happy ) Any chance of getting Remy into nursery/playgroup? Maybe he just needs a new environment and a break from the norm?

Describes my two as well - you've met them!

Sleep has also been an issue here as you know.

I felt the same with isaac in terms of thinking I would know what I was doing third time round and as you know his sleep was terrible.
He's actually been pretty easy going during the day but nap and sleep times were awful. He's always been really alert and sleeps lightly.
My girls have always taken a lot of energy mentally and still do. Transitions are our biggest issue, it's a nightmare trying to leave the house, coming to the dinner table, getting in and out of the car.... Etc
The 'raising a spirited child' book is a good read
It also highlighted to me that I m probably a spirited adult and actually I m not good at transitions so I can't really complain

I hear you, one to two wakings is definitely sleeping through

Leon still wakes but I can cope as long as he goes to sleep at a reasonable time.

I have done webster Stratton course which is suitable for kids with an asd. I've been doing that and some sensory stuff with Leon but of course izzy gets same now and she really benefits from it too.


I wish I'd had the incredible years book ages ago ! Well worth getting

I could talk about stuff forever but my top tips (lots of them are for as he gets older )

Let him be naked if he wants

Give do's instead on dont's or no. Eg. Be kind instead of no hitting

" I can't understand you, please speak calmly so I can hear you" this works for whining, moaning, screching, shouting

Lots of squishing, firm pressure, hugs and kisses

OTT praise for every desirable behaviours

Talk about emotions from a young age

Xxx

[clothmama]

Some great tips there Sara, I think I probably do most of them anyway but a reminder always good (I always try to do gentle hands when he is being rough).

I wish I'd had the incredible years book ages ago ! Well worth getting

Which book is that @littlesez ?

The 'raising a spirited child' book is a good read

I think I'll see if I can pick up a copy on ebay or something sounds like it could help

Ohhh yeah, the Raising your Spirited Child book is amazing. It taught me loads about Eddie and myself.