Anyone had a birth debriefing / afterthoughts session? *upda

It is something which is still in my head, about a year ago I thought about paying to read my hospital notes to find out what and why things happened during my labour, birth and afterwards, but then realised it wouldn't make much sense to just sit and read I need someone to go through them with me and explain the decisions, so now I have discovered online some areas have proper services which are not counselling, but proper sit down with notes and answers.

I am going to tell my gp I want this and hopefully he will know how to get a midwife (or after reading online even consultants can do them)

See I still don't even know if I had a tear seperate from the epistomy, or a tear lengthing the epi (and yes I did ask in hospital and I never got the answer - they only had about an extra 4 days to tell me). Same as I don't know the clinical decision why after asking for a c section after only 50 plus hours in labour was denied and perhaps not causing Ben's head lump.

See if I knew where the mysterious breed of people called midwives actually hang out I might actually bump into one and ask, but as they don't really exist in the community and barely in hospitals I think I might be waiting for another year or two until this happens.

I have PMd you

I've never heard of one but would like one as I had a pretty bad experience. Jasmine was big and I'm very petite and I was effectively denied pain relief until I was 7cm dilated - I'm frankly terrified about the prospect of going through that again.

[Allie]

Bad experience here too Frances and that is why I'm going nowhere near hospital for this baby. Hope you get the answers you need Annette.

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to bad experiences. Have to say the hospital here have been brilliant, I know not every one has positive experiences but I did, can't fault the care I was given at all and was always offered pain relief through all 4 of my deliveries (which I refused). On the day we went for Samuels postmortem results the consultant and midwife that delivered him had cleared their whole diares for the day to go through things with us and to reassure us that the chances of the cord accident would never happen again. When I was in labour with Gracie Amanda (samuels midwife) found out I was in and came straight down to see me and cried when she saw us after delivery. It is terrible that such a wonderful experience is marred by poor health care for some many women/families

I know completely different country and all but.... With both Phebie and William (delivered at different hospital to Hannah) the midwife that delivered them came the next day and asked if I had any questions concerning the birth and were more then happy to sit and talk. If only all hospitals did that hey.

I would even call the maternity ward and ask there, I'm sure your not the only women that wants answers.

update :

I have been to the gp today and told him (after getting my blood results which are all perfect apart from high cholestrol) that this was available in some PCT's and I would like it. He looked at me competely blankly, and printed out a copy of the notes which were sent to the gp from hospital. I told him I don't even have any idea who the consultant was and it wasn't on the notes either, so he is writing a letter to the general dept and hopefully I will have a response at some point.

I don't want to complain about my care formally, but it would still be nice to have the 1:1 session to find out what and why things happened.