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crying and screaming when she doesn't get her way.

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clairelana
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crying and screaming when she doesn't get her way.

Postby clairelana » Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:18 am

I'm having a constant battle with Lana (3).

She screams and cries and stamps her feet and throws a paddy when she doesn't get what she wants. Sometimes she run's in to another room and cries.
I presume this is normal but I don't know what to do, she's driving me mad.
I have a few battles with her every day.


Doesn't want to get dressed, runs round screaming so I can get her. When I do get her she sqirms round so much its really hard work. I have back problems and she really starins it.
She wants sweets streight after breakfast, all the time. (I limit them as she will eat fruit instead) If she gets fruit or sweets she still screams for more once she's finished.

She sits there fake crying saying "mummy, waaa, waaa, waaa, mummy. ga ga ga ga mummy waaa waaa" Then she comes over and usually say "Mummy I love you" in a wingy voice.

She screams when I brush her hair even if I do it really gently. Shouting "awch awch awch" (which Kaydi has started copying :roll: ) She doesnt do this for my mum or DH.

Then If were going out she wont put her shoes on. I usually takes me 1/2an hour to get out of the house once I say right time to go.

At lunch I give her a choice of 2 things for lunch I like her to choose but usually she changes her mind/wants something totally different. She then refuses to eat what I have made. Even before I decided to let her choose she would just sit and refuse to eat things I know she likes.

She's stopped having an afternoon nap recently. But she still gets so tired. By the time 3.30 is here she's almost dropping she's so tired.

It's just so constant and everyday.

She does the same at bed time.

:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x

:cry:

Any sugestions?

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Shevi
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Re: crying and screaming when she doesn't get her way.

Postby Shevi » Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:38 am

its the terrible 3's!!!
I'm in the identical situation!!!!

my dh (who has a real soft spot for boo) tend to take the 'come into bed with me and i will cuddle you and give in to whatever you want cos you are sooo sweet' approach...funnily enough i think that just makes the problem worse and take a slightly harder line myself!!!

shouting / wailing(for no reason) = exclusion. either he has to sit by himself on his bed or if downstairs then the porch has a 'quiet-time' corner.

it does work but can be really hard to stick to your guns first thing in the morning when you really need them to get dress and eat something before having to leave the house at 8.15!!!

i explain to him that i will not listen to the shouting and i dont care about the excuses, he has to be quiet and listen to me or he will have to have quiet time by himself. if he continues to shout and wail i pick him up and put him in said corner / bed and explain again, that as soon as he is quiet i will come and take him out (generally followed by a yell and wail of 'BUT I AAAMMM BEEEEEIIINNNGGG QUIIIEEETTTTTT< IIII HAAVVEEEE STOPPEDDD CRYYIIINGGGGGGGG WAAAAAAA') but if he is shouting he will have to stay there.
almost as soon as he is quiet (doesn't take long anymore) i go and say 'so are you ready to get dressed/eat breakfast/ stop hitting your brother/put on your coat' etc etc, and he usually says yes and does it nicely...if the answer is 'WAAAA!!!' then explain again and back in corner!

good luck!!!

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dawnsmummy
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Re: crying and screaming when she doesn't get her way.

Postby dawnsmummy » Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:04 am

dawns exactly the samd. nappy changes are a fight for us too. dawns also started punching and slapping when she doesnt get her own way. i plonk her in the hallway..,

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Velvetsteph
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Re: crying and screaming when she doesn't get her way.

Postby Velvetsteph » Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:13 am

Have you read my post about the weather affecting them - Isabelle's been dreadful this past week and is always worse when she's ill...

My shouting just makes matters worse (duh!)

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clairelana
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Re: crying and screaming when she doesn't get her way.

Postby clairelana » Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:23 am

I do make her go in the other room and sit down till she's quiet. Which works but It just that she's constantly doing it thats driving me mad.
Even when were playing if she's not the one with the constant attention she does the same.

Whats bothering me most is that Kaydi has started to copy some of the things that Lana is doing :x

Having a few problems of my own with depression and this isnt helping. I'll stick with what I'm doing then as it seems to be what your all doing. :giggle: Just thought perhaps I was being a rubish mum doing something wrong. Seems its her age.
She starts nursery in January so hopefully that will help.
The lady is coming to talk to us about it this afternoon. Looking forward to it.

Steph I'll go look for you thread.

I was thinking of getting one of those lights for me maybe it will help the girls too. (what are they called?)

Thanx ladies btw. Helps to know its normal and not something I'm doing.

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sammijayne
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Re: crying and screaming when she doesn't get her way.

Postby sammijayne » Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:57 pm

with maisie my eldest, iv got getting dressed sorted :mrgreen: , all the rest im pulling my hair out and nothing is easy. :shock:

but for getting dressed i pick 2 of each item and ask her to choose, if she wont co-operate nicely and choose, i will pick, then all the rest put away, so she cant change her mind. she gradually learns that she will be the one in controll if she is co-operating (altho it is actually you :mrgreen: ) . then ask her to put on witch ever item, if she dosent do it streight away, just say 'ok thats fine, ill get 'isabelle' dressed' and put one item on youngest, with lots of prais and make it look really fun. she should then want to,. if not tho, keep putting one on baby then offer her and say when baby is dressed we are ready to go out. some times maisie still refuses but when she sees me carrying belle and putting on her shoes she panics and gets herself ready very quickly. if that does not work. actually go outside the door and listen through letter box (naibours will think your mad :giggle: ) but youll have a very co-operative baby inside ready to get dressed.

hopefuul it will work for you too.

another simple way that has worked before aswell is what ever she is doing, (when not doing as told) get really excited about ang ask her to do it bigger and better. then the salk will turn into fun. when it is fun say now just quickly put your top ( or what ever) on and you can show me that one again as it was so good! that does work verry well for us too.

good luck :hug:

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jules070603
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Re: crying and screaming when she doesn't get her way.

Postby jules070603 » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:29 pm

One thing that generally works here is telling him I will not say another word about ............... and then I ignore him until he says something nicely or changes the subject.

I also discovered a punishment that worked (I take a train away each time he ignores me or disobeys me) after counting to 3. Now I only have to start counting and he stops being silly before I get to 3.

We didn't have the terrible 2's here - the terrible 3's definately. :x

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2climbingboys
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Re: crying and screaming when she doesn't get her way.

Postby 2climbingboys » Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:23 pm

:hug: :hug: :hug:

oh no - I must have this to come. We did have terrible 2's but Toby has been good for a while now!

clairelana wrote:Just thought perhaps I was being a rubish mum doing something wrong. Seems its her age.
Helps to know its normal and not something I'm doing.


I felt just that way too when Toby was being 'challenging' (to put it politely).

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Shevi
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Re: crying and screaming when she doesn't get her way.

Postby Shevi » Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:26 pm

jules070603 wrote:I also discovered a punishment that worked (I take a train away each time he ignores me or disobeys me) after counting to 3. Now I only have to start counting and he stops being silly before I get to 3.

We didn't have the terrible 2's here - the terrible 3's definately. :x


we do counting to 5..i should change to 3, i'm not really patient enough for 5 :giggle:

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