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controlled crying??

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2climbingboys
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Re: controlled crying??

Postby 2climbingboys » Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:21 pm

Each to their own surely isn't that difficult a concept? Linking to things saying you will cause emotional damage isn't really following this concept. The majority of generations would be impaired in this case - my family have used controlled crying for generations and I assure you the majority of us are fine. :wink:

We used this with Toby, as we were in a situation where he wouldn't sleep apart from the odd hour or so overnight even held. He was over tired and would spend literally most of the time crying unless he happened to be feeding (he was like this for the first couple of months). Controlled crying with a musical monitor worked and he became a much more settled baby in a routine (with extra feeds if I thought he was hungry - we were far from rigid with anything)

We have never really needed to with Blake

northernruth wrote:but I want Martha to grow up knowing that if she calls for me I will be there


Toby and Blake both know that DH or I will be there if they call for us tbh
Last edited by 2climbingboys on Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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happytails
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Re: controlled crying??

Postby happytails » Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:26 pm

I feel like ive started a debate here :-? :oops:

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2climbingboys
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Re: controlled crying??

Postby 2climbingboys » Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:28 pm

Velvetsteph wrote:I get very sad at the parenting methods which are suggested sometimes that go against our instincts... No wonder so many women end up with PND (I'm not saying this is the only cause by any means) when they're told not to comfort their child, feed on routine etc etc...


About the feed on routine bit of this - I agree with what you are saying Steph. If a baby is hungry feed it regardless of routine. But with parents who severely lack brain cells or education you need to be careful with very young babies of telling them to feed on demand, as occasionally newbies get very unwell as they don't 'demand' and are lift for ridiculous amounts of time without a feed. My midwife had some true horror stories.

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littlesez
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Re: controlled crying??

Postby littlesez » Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:32 pm

yes each to their own i feel very very strongley about cc and would never dream of it for us

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k-k-k-ktiow
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Re: controlled crying??

Postby k-k-k-ktiow » Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:10 pm

I guess a lot of it is about context..I have a problem with the term controlled crying...
If my baby is fed, clean and tired, I am quite confident that I can put her to bed and that she may wriggle and squirm for a while as she finds her thumb and gets confortable, she may even cry at the indignity of being put to bed whilst everyone else is still up, but we know she is ready for bed, so we can "leave" her for ten minutes to sort herself out.
I think the label "controlled crying" just makes it a more contentious issue...
I think it sounds like most of us do the same kind of things...I would just say that Annie gets plenty of hugs and cuddles but has always liked to be just put down when she is tired...it isn't a rejection thing, just her preference as far as I can see :hug: :hug:
KT

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Re: controlled crying??

Postby nappynutter » Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:37 pm

2climbingboys wrote:Each to their own surely isn't that difficult a concept? Linking to things saying you will cause emotional damage isn't really following this concept. The majority of generations would be impaired in this case - my family have used controlled crying for generations and I assure you the majority of us are fine. :wink:

The OP asked

what is everyone elses opinion on CC?


If you take the time to read my post you will see that I said

There are links in my previous post, but these quotes sum up my reasons for not doing CIO/CC.


At what point is answering the question not allowing for the concept of each to their own.

Interestingly, CC/CIO is a fairly recent concept in the history of human beings and remains largely a western phenomenon. The Edwardians were the first to popularise it amongst the upper classes (along with the idea that babies should not be overstimulated and should sleep in their own bed) and a worrying percentage of babies died as a result.

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indigosky2k
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Re: controlled crying??

Postby indigosky2k » Wed Nov 04, 2009 12:24 am

Well I've been holding off saying anything, but have finally decided I will. My mum and dad tried controlled crying with me. I was between the ages of 2 and 3 and I remember it vividly! I would scream 'I'm lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lonely' for a very long time and did feel abandoned and left. It is something that is till very strongly with me and does stop me from leaving Kacie to cry, even though I know she is much younger and wouldn't remember. My mum eventually tried a differant method, which did work, but it did involve my dad carrying me upstairs to bed until I was 9 years old :oops: :giggle: And on that point, I was never upset when I woke in my own bed, I expected to, and was quite happy to stay there. I just didn't want to feel alone when I was going to sleep. Still don't for that matter.
As PP's have said, my baby girl only cries through the day for a reason, hungry, tired, wet/dirty or in pain. 90% of the time she is a very happy, smiley baby. So if she is crying when I put her to bed IMO she needs that extra cuddle. Kacie will self settle when she wants to, day or night, she doesn't depend on a comforter of any sort, though she does like her boobby or dummy best of all :giggle: She will settle if she is tired and I catch the moment right, this is the hardest part probably. Most of her daytime naps she falls asleep when she's ready, wherever she is, as some of my photos show :giggle:
I imagine that there are some babies that CC/CIO does work for, but I suspect these babies would settle very easily anyway. And many babies do give out some little crys and whinges before they go to sleep, I don't see this as CC, if the baby goes to sleep quickly and easily. I am however mystified as to how a mother can sit or stand there for any length of time and listen to her baby truely crying out for comfort :(

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beck
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Re: controlled crying??

Postby beck » Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:36 am

happytails wrote:I feel like ive started a debate here :-? :oops:



Debates are healthy :D

I just wanted to add though that while I technically did CC I NEVER EVER let my babies cry in distress. I was always there if they got worked up and would only do it when they were feed, changed and showing signs of tidness. We always followed there lead with sleep we didn't CC to get them into a routine of when we wanted them to sleep, they would get overstimulated easily and it was easier on all of us to let them put themselves to sleep rather that have us rock or pat them to sleep IYKWIM.

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Re: controlled crying??

Postby Allie » Wed Nov 04, 2009 8:00 am

beck wrote:
happytails wrote:I feel like ive started a debate here :-? :oops:



Debates are healthy :D

I just wanted to add though that while I technically did CC I NEVER EVER let my babies cry in distress. I was always there if they got worked up and would only do it when they were feed, changed and showing signs of tidness. We always followed there lead with sleep we didn't CC to get them into a routine of when we wanted them to sleep, they would get overstimulated easily and it was easier on all of us to let them put themselves to sleep rather that have us rock or pat them to sleep IYKWIM.


That's exactly what we did.

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