Cloth Nappy Tree Forum

Well I'd just like to get a handle on what anyone else does for a bedtime routine. I think I am going loopy trying to get Kayleigh down at night.
So I use to feed dinner, then let her play a while, upstairs bath, then dressed for bed, back downstairs for milk, then upstairs for book then put her in her cot at 7:45 pm, then she would fall asleep and I could come downstairs for 8pm or so.
Anyway, ever since she could get on her feet, she became clingy and it has got more difficult. Have tried to follow the same routine, but I can't put her in her cot because she screams and screams. So I am stuck with her lying on my bed (the cot is next to the bed) and I have to stay in the room until she falls asleep or she will stand up and scream. Tonight David has kindly volunteered to take over for me, but that doesn't happen often. My huge problem is that I can end up with a 8pm bedtime because she can sometimes take till 10pm to fall asleep. Now she is walking, she is taking a second nap thru the day again, and she seems to be exhausting herself with all the walking she is doing. At this way of going I can't see her ever moving into her own room (assuming of course David ever manages to finish it).
Considering I am working full time, while David is at home with his parents, Kayleigh and the farm - I am doing most mornings (David does once a fortnight) I do the cooking when I get home from work (and find it difficult enough to come in the door and get things ready in 30 minutes), then I am putting her to bed most nights - it is just exhausting and I don't know how people manage more than 1 child.
All those books that talk about controlled crying etc - has anyone tried it, and does it work?

I can't do controlled crying, I am just too much of a softie and give in too easily. I don't doubt that for come people it works but I just can't bear to listen to her cry so just wouldn't be strong enough to make it work - I also think you need someone very supportive with you if you do it as it is heartbreaking. Unfortunately Mark is as much a wimp as me!

We do have to sometimes stay in the room until she settles. We get times like this last few days away where I think she has been so excited all day that she finds it difficult to settle down so we sit in the room until she lays down and drops off.

We have always had a much earlier bedtime routine, Charlotte is in bed by 7pm. But I am guessing that isn't possible with you working. It does seem unfair that you seem to have to do everything. Mark had a year off to look after Charlotte and he had to do all the night wakings in the week and get up with Charlotte in the morning. Mostly I was home to do bedtime (as that was our time together) but Mark did dinner for her and then we took turns at our dinner after she had gone to bed.

In return Mark used to get all of Saturday morning to himself as I took Charlotte out swimming. It worked quite well.

He is back at work now but picks Charlotte up from nursery at around 4pm by which time she has already had tea. So we just give her some snacks at home. At 6.30 we always take her upstairs and she either has a bath or just relaxing time getting ready for bed and maybe a story and then at around 6.50pm it is a bottle of milk in the dark in her room and then into bed.

I am hoping it is going to stay this way as we have the dreaded 2nd child on the way

I would say keep up with the sitting in the room, Charlotte went through a really bad phase of this for about a month when she started nursery but then gradually went back to normal and now we have occasional nights of it. I figured, as long as she was settling herself to sleep and I was just there to give her some comfort then that was OK. Tough and tiring at the time but if you can take it in turns it is much better

I can't really help I'm afraid as we still haven't cracked the bedtime routine... Ours comes and goes according to naps, teething, food/mealtimes, activities in the day, illness/not, growth spurts, developmental spurts etc etc

Personally I don't like controlled crying in any form - nor what it does to the toddler (never mind the parent) but that's just me... Partly instincts and just couldn't do it but won't bore you with the other reasons
Yes it does work for some kiddies but IMO for all the wrong reasons.
(just to add a note here: there is a difference obviously between leaving a child to winge a bit and leaving a child who is upset to cry uncomforted...)

When they've just learned to walk bedtime does become harder but it will get better again - it's well documented that bedtimes become a nightmare for a bit after they've learned to walk, everyone I know with a kiddie has had the same and it does get better...

Hugs - it's just a phase and will get better - and glad David can do the staying too - Isabelle won't usually let Paul put her to bed at all!!!

Annette - what time was Charlotte eating the rest of her meals if she had her tea by 4pm? and what time was she getting up in the morning? Sorry about all the questions. Daid seems to think that 8pm is too early a bed time and we should push it back to 9pm or so, but I think that just makes her narkier and hader to get to sleep.

Rae - it depends on what time she's up in the morning as to bedtime really - if Isabelle's up at 6am then 9pm would be waaaaaaaaaaaay too late for bed!

Nursery days routine is that she has breakfast with us at 6:30/7am ish, milk and fruit at 9:15 ish, lunch at 11:30 and tea at 3:15 with more snacks on her way home and occasionally tea at home if we leave early...

Bedtime is usually started at 6:30 - any later and she's just overtired and the more overtired the clingier...

Our bedtime routine has been the same now for almost 2 years

Lucas has his tea at 5/5.30 pm! then gets to play until bedtime, he has recently taken a shine to thet blummin in the night garden so at 6.20 that goes on, (the girls like it too so we get total silence from all 3, bliss!) we dress the girls for bed and give them their last bottle at 6.30ish!

When ITNG has finished Lucas knows now that's his bedtime (we used to give him the 15 minute warning i'e' bedtime in 15 mins, then bedtime in 10 mins and so on until it's bedtime up we go!)

all 3 go upstairs for 7pm and all into their own beds in the respective rooms!

sometimes Lucas will stand at his gate and winge a little or shout down to us, we just ignore him for a little then calmly call night night up to him and he then gets himself back into bed and off he goes!

We rarely hear much from the girls, they tend to babble to each other a bit before dropping off (awww!)

We have rigidly stuck to this for as long as I can remember, never needed to do controlled crying, if he cries I go to him! if he winges I ignore him! (I knwo the difference )

Not sure if this has helped at all but I do hope the phase passes soon for you all! maybe hubby needs to get a wriggle on the room being finished, might be better then?

lucas has been in his own room from 8 months and the girls have been in their room from 3 months! I'm sure that helps them to self settle etc

jan x

Rae wrote:Annette - what time was Charlotte eating the rest of her meals if she had her tea by 4pm? and what time was she getting up in the morning? Sorry about all the questions. Daid seems to think that 8pm is too early a bed time and we should push it back to 9pm or so, but I think that just makes her narkier and hader to get to sleep.

She usually is up around 7am and then breakfast is about 8.30am then they have lunch (their hot meal) at 11am and nap 12-1pm. Tea is just sandwiches just before 4pm and then we give her some fruit or biscuits around 5.30pm.

Any later than 7pm bedtime is definately too late for Charlotte, at Halloween we went next door for a party and Mark was all up for keeping her up to go trick or treating but by about 7.15pm she was showing signs of being exhausted and she collapsed into bed!

Perhaps Kayleigh is overtired by bedtime, it can make getting them to go to sleep more difficult?

Oh yeah and I agree with Jan, Charlotte definately likes her own room. I am sure it helps with bedtime. But then I was a bit naughty and she has been in her own room since about 2 months old - I found her far too noisey in the night, when she was asleep she kept waking me up with her snoring and grumbling!!

Our bed time routine is the same for both girls. Dinner at 6.30-7 then quite play for a while then shower/bath at 8 and straight to bed at 8.30 with a drink and story. The girls share a room since the arrival of William and seem to love it. I know it seems quite late but that time works really well for us, and both girls sleep til about 7.30-8am.