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Scared of the cot?

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Velvetsteph
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Scared of the cot?

Postby Velvetsteph » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:52 pm

Okay so Isabelle is going through quite a clingy stage at the moment, triggered by a few things...

Clingyness in the day I can cope with - lots of cuddles and using the sling more...

BUT the main problem we're having is naps and bedtime...
She seems absolutely terrified of going in the cot! I can't work it out - well okay so I can... It is twofold...

Normally we do bedtime routine, mummy milk cuddles, say goodnight to and kiss daddy - go into her room (across the hall from ours) and pop her in the cot with dog, tuck her in and say night night, and go shutting the door behind us...

Because she is clingy and tired at the moment she finds it difficult to go down awake which means cuddling her to sleep which means she wakes up and we're not there...
But she really has to be totally exhausted now to let us put her in the cot - if I'm cuddling her and I even shift position slightly we get 'no no nooooooo' and hysterics...

Well it's just exhausting.

DH can't put her to bed as the hysterics are so bad she struggles to breathe and has on occasion been sick... She does love her Daddy but at bedtime only Mummy will do...

I think in part she's scared of being on her own in the room but I'm not sure why... As soon as she's awake we got to her we don't leave her there and we've never done nor intend to do CC.

I would do a variation on pick up put down but I can't even get her in the cot to do it!

I'm wondering (like I was last time this phase happened) if it's time for a bed... Perhaps an adult single that's low to the floor so I can give her cuddles lying down but that won't solve the waking up alone problem...

Tonight it took an hour to get her to sleep...

Painkillers or piriton make no difference to going to bed ease. I think she is teething but that's more what is waking her up at night rather than stopping her going to bed...

Perhaps I'm just thinking about this in the wrong way and I shouldn't be so bothered about getting the evening to myself, and just while she's clingy cuddle her to sleep in our bed and stay there with her - afterall I could probably use the extra sleep, but then nothing would get done, no clean clothes, no clean dishes, no mended toys/clothes, and no me time which altho' it's not as important as not having a hysterical toddler is actually quite important especially at the moment...

She is also waking 4-5 times in the night but that is I think partly teeth, sometimes because she's kicked the duvet off and is cold when the gro-bag is in the wash, and sometimes because we're not there...

I would just keep her in bed with us but our bed isn't big enough for her apparently and she scoots us both to the edges and we end up with bruises galore!
We can't afford a king-size bed at the moment and don't have the space...

Ideas welcome - cheers.

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babyroo
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Re: Scared of the cot?

Postby babyroo » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:06 pm

Katie was exaclty the same about going in the cot, the slightest lowering down and she had a complete fit about it, even if she was asleep. That was the reason for putting her in a bed even though she was quite young at that point.

If I had to I could lie down with her and then sneak out later (or try to, sometimes she knew and would wake up) but easier than trying to get her into a cot.

Have you got room for a bed in her bedroom as well as the cot? Then you can try it and be able to go back to the cot quite easily if it doesn't work. We moved her at half-term when Harry was at my mums so she went into his bed for the test.

((((((hun))))))) I would say try it, you've not really got anything to lose.

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trogette
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Re: Scared of the cot?

Postby trogette » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:52 pm

Meet the current need and it will be met, not shifted to something else, innit :)

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Rae
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Re: Scared of the cot?

Postby Rae » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:54 pm

Steph I feel like I could have written something very similiar to what you have just done. Luckily Kayleigh isn't waking multiple times thru the night, and when she does wake, she is climbing into bed next to us. She vomited tonight when I left the room and has become clingy. We currently have the rails of one side of the cot taken off, and the cot is next to our bed. I would like her out of our room, but there is nowhere to put her at the moment. It is exhausting to be the night person as well as the morning person. I am wondering if I should see if there are any sleep clinics over here as it is wearing me down. If you find something that works magic, I want to know too.

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Velvetsteph
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Re: Scared of the cot?

Postby Velvetsteph » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:35 pm

Haha I wish there were a magic solution Rae :lol:

Tracy I know you're right, I just need a bit more patience :D

Ali - (and Rae) oh it is such a relief to know we're not alone here...

I just get so cross - she goes to sleep lovely and peacefully and happy in my arms but as soon as I even think about the cot (she's telepathic I swear) she goes mental at the moment!

Maybe a few nights of going to bed early with her wouldn't be such a bad thing... IF that works :roll:

Will definately look into beds... We could probably fit a full sized one in her room and the cot but might have to shift some stuff elsewhere in the house (but WHERE!) - Is probably a good idea to keep both around for a bit...

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trogette
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Re: Scared of the cot?

Postby trogette » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:48 pm

Get a bed and under-bed boxes?

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karenandgeorgia
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Re: Scared of the cot?

Postby karenandgeorgia » Mon Feb 25, 2008 11:00 pm

Poor Isabelle and poor you :( Georgia goes through stages like this and we have always just gone with her needs, kept her downstairs with us to go to sleep as the other girls need to get settled for school the following day. Eventually I think she realises we aren't going to abandon her and she gets to the stage where she will go in the cot if I sit on the floor next to her. Gradually I move further away but as with everything else it is always at Georgias pace :roll:

Poor little things are still working out who they are and finding they are not just an extension of Mummy, just take things slow and she'll soon settle again hopefully.

((((Big hugs))))) for you both.

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lilylover
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Re: Scared of the cot?

Postby lilylover » Tue Feb 26, 2008 8:49 am

(((((((())))))) Steph sounds like you are having a hard time and not getting the rest you need. Unfortunetly I don't have any help though as I'm a mean mummy and used cc on Lily to get her sleeping independently.
I hope it sorts itself out soon hun.

Sam xx

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Annette
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Re: Scared of the cot?

Postby Annette » Tue Feb 26, 2008 9:04 am

Oh Steph, sounds like you are having a tough time and poor Isabelle. It is exhausting and very frustrating when they won't go to bed. And I know what you mean about just having an easy life and having her in with you for the evening. But I think you probably do need some "you" time right now.

This does sound a little like phases Charlotte goes through when things change - like when she started nursery, or when we went away at Christmas. Could it be that she is picking up on the changes with you losing your job and her now only going to nursery 1 day a week? If it is then I think it will pass once she gets used to it, maybe she is just feeling insecure, which is what I think causes is for Charlotte.

I found that it was impossible to put her in the cot, but it wasn't the cot per se, but the knowledge she was going to bed and we were going to leave her. So I found like Karen that it would help if I just put her into bed and sat nearby. If she was really crying I would pick her up and cuddle her until she went quiet and try again. Eventually she seems to realise I am not going to give up but also that I am not going to just abandon her and she lies down. It then varies as to whether I can leave the room immediately or have to wait until she falls asleep.

Eventually things get better - it lasted about a month when she started nursery, and about a week when we went away. But each night I saw an improvement. It could take an hour in the beginning but then would get shorter and shorter.

I know what works for one, doesn't work for everyone but this is what we do. Hope you find the solution soon and everything settles down.

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