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Should I be worried?

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sportyminx
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Re: Should I be worried?

Postby sportyminx » Tue May 25, 2010 9:00 pm

Awww - Obviously I am no expert, but when Tyler came to play, he was so funny and social and once he settled down and became comfortable being in a strange place he played lovely with Naomi - he seemed so lovely and displaying what I would call normal toddler behaviour! I am sorry you are so concerned over this and it must be driving you to your wits end, my DS was the same, he had to line his cars up in a specific way and would go mad if they got messed with etc - however every child is different and what is normal for one could be an indication of a problem for another - keep an eye on him and try and just follow the little routines he likes, maybe he just enjoys them, or they make him feel secure! May I ask if you are a little that way inclined? do you prefer things to be just so - or are routines and the way things done of no importance to you? A lot of what our children do comes directly from us and half the time we don't even realise we are doing it :giggle:

Sorry to go on! He is a lovely boy and of course you are worried, he is your baby - but maybe just wait and see rather than panicking just yet :hug:

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Amanda
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Re: Should I be worried?

Postby Amanda » Tue May 25, 2010 9:04 pm

sportyminx wrote:May I ask if you are a little that way inclined? do you prefer things to be just so - or are routines and the way things done of no importance to you? A lot of what our children do comes directly from us and half the time we don't even realise we are doing it :giggle:


Very good point! I was discussing my concerns about Connor with a friend when she pointed out my little quirks. The older he gets the more obvious it is that he is 50% me!

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pinksalmon2001
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Re: Should I be worried?

Postby pinksalmon2001 » Wed May 26, 2010 10:03 am

Amanda wrote:
sportyminx wrote:May I ask if you are a little that way inclined? do you prefer things to be just so - or are routines and the way things done of no importance to you? A lot of what our children do comes directly from us and half the time we don't even realise we are doing it :giggle:


Very good point! I was discussing my concerns about Connor with a friend when she pointed out my little quirks. The older he gets the more obvious it is that he is 50% me!


:giggle: Yes I can be very ocd with things like cleaning being done a certain way! A lot of what he does day to day is very obvious copying of things he has seen either me or OH do. I think a lot of it is the sheer determination to be very independent a bit younger than a lot of his little friends.

Tyler is very confident and social so i'm not worried there and he is also a very loving, cuddly little boy when he wants to be so again no worries there. Thanks ladies, you have made me feel a lot happier that it is just normal toddler behaviour at the moment although obviously I will keep an eye out as he gets older xx

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nappynutter
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Re: Should I be worried?

Postby nappynutter » Wed May 26, 2010 10:34 am

pinksalmon2001 wrote:
Amanda wrote:
sportyminx wrote:May I ask if you are a little that way inclined? do you prefer things to be just so - or are routines and the way things done of no importance to you? A lot of what our children do comes directly from us and half the time we don't even realise we are doing it :giggle:


Very good point! I was discussing my concerns about Connor with a friend when she pointed out my little quirks. The older he gets the more obvious it is that he is 50% me!


:giggle: Yes I can be very ocd with things like cleaning being done a certain way! A lot of what he does day to day is very obvious copying of things he has seen either me or OH do. I think a lot of it is the sheer determination to be very independent a bit younger than a lot of his little friends.

Tyler is very confident and social so i'm not worried there and he is also a very loving, cuddly little boy when he wants to be so again no worries there. Thanks ladies, you have made me feel a lot happier that it is just normal toddler behaviour at the moment although obviously I will keep an eye out as he gets older xx


I don't think you mean OCD. People use this term a lot without realising what it really means. OCD is a mental illness. It stems from anxiety and can affect people at any time of their lives. The person feels a compulsion to do something, driven by god/the devil/another external influence because they believe that if don't do it then they or a loved one will come to harm.

What you are describing is an ADD/ASD type obsessive behaviour which comes from a desire to be in control of your surroundings. ADD/ASD is a physical difference in the brain and is lifelong. If you have this trait then it is likely your child will have it too. Of course that doesn't necessarily mean you have ADD/ASD, just that it is likely that you have one or more traits. (Remember it's a very wide spectrum.)

Also, it's a myth that people with ADD/ASD cannot be confident, sociable or cuddly. They can be very good at these things in a familiar environment and they can also learn to do these things as they get older, it's just not as instinctive when they are very young. It's very common for people to believe their child doesn't have a problem because they appear to grow out of it. They haven't, they have just learnt coping, avoidance and copying strategies so that it appears that way.

Basically, what I am saying is that it is likely you have at least one ADD/ASD type trait and that your son has too. It doesn't necessarily mean either of you have ASD/ADD though as you need more than one or two traits for a diagnosis.

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pinksalmon2001
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Re: Should I be worried?

Postby pinksalmon2001 » Wed May 26, 2010 3:19 pm

Thanks Morag - I would definitely agree that I have at least one or more traits as described, cleaning having to be done in a very specific way being the main one!

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