hf1

Clinginess

My avatar
northernruth
Cloth Nappy Chatterbox
Cloth Nappy Chatterbox

Clinginess

Postby northernruth » Thu May 27, 2010 9:50 pm

So Martha is a little bit poorly at the moment but nothing terrible, just snotty, no temp etc.

She is disastrously clingy tho - I can't go to the loo on my own, when I walk across the kitchen she follows me, I can't nip upstairs to get something without her wanting to come with.

This morning she was crying when I left the childminders (how hard is that to deal with!) and tonight she had a meltdown when when I went out for a run - I could hear her banging on the front door from the inside after I had gone out. Apparently she calmed down quite quickly both times.

Is it due to the cold or a phase do you think? and if it's a phase, what do I do? i am out at a work function tomorrow night (private screening of the new Sex and the City movie :wine: ) and a bit worried about having to leave her when she is having a screaming fit.

This is all very unusual BTW, she is very happy at the CM and normally just waves me off for a run :-?

My avatar
beffys
Cloth Nappy Disciple
Cloth Nappy Disciple

Re: Clinginess

Postby beffys » Thu May 27, 2010 9:59 pm

Ella has always gone through phases of clinginess, even within in the same day, but some weeks are worse than other. :giggle: You have to get on with your life, but at the same time I've found if you reassure their clinginess then they tend to get more independent again. Ella can also be fiercely independent at times too. I think it's how they push their boundaries little by little and as they get their head around 'hey I'm me, I'm different from you'. Still nice to come back to Mum for reassurance, so it's developmental I think really. Anecdotal to compare, but yup it's hard work. Ella follows me about quite a bit or drags me off to do things. It's more though that I can't do certain tasks as she wants to 'help'.

My avatar
winniewheresmypooh
Cloth Nappy Addict
Cloth Nappy Addict

Re: Clinginess

Postby winniewheresmypooh » Fri May 28, 2010 9:06 am

Jon was poorly a couple of weeks back but nothing to serious. After he appeared to be better he was still very clingy and cried when I left him at school which is not normal. After 5 Days of this he burst his eardrum :( I am so glad there was a reason as it must have been painful for him.

Not sure with your LO but sometimes being poorly does make them extra clingy as they just want mummy. I'm sure she'll be back to normal soon.

My avatar
jules070603
Cloth Nappy Chatterbox
Cloth Nappy Chatterbox

Re: Clinginess

Postby jules070603 » Fri May 28, 2010 9:23 am

I'd say if she is normally not clingy then its the illness.

Imogen was like that last week and Zach did not cope with it very well so I was :x by the end of the week :giggle: Hopefully if she is feeling a bit better tomorrow she won't react like that when you go out.

PS - I'm going to watch SATC2 on Saturday with a friend and I am stupidly excited :giggle:

My avatar
emmalala
Cloth Nappy Wise Woman
Cloth Nappy Wise Woman

Re: Clinginess

Postby emmalala » Fri May 28, 2010 12:56 pm

dans permanantly clingy :roll: but it just sounds like illness to me too

My avatar
northernruth
Cloth Nappy Chatterbox
Cloth Nappy Chatterbox

Re: Clinginess

Postby northernruth » Sat May 29, 2010 5:46 pm

Well today DH had to drag her off me to take her to town to the museum, I could hear her howling as he put her in the car, and then we have had wails and tantrums at bathtime because she wanted me to take her. DH stupidly said "if you dont stop then mummy will just take you straight to bed" to which she said "I want mummy to take me straight to bed" :roll:

Thing is, I don't really want to give in to it as it's a bit manipulative (sorry, I hate it when ppl use that expression about kids but you know what I mean), but at the same time she is genuinely upset :-? . But then again, I can't do absolutely everything for her while DH gets pushed aside (she has been playing happily with DH today, was fine when they were out and played nicely with him after tea while I washed up).

Still snotty tho so hoping for better tomorrow! I am off work all next week so at least we don't have to deal with taking her to the childminders

My avatar
Velvetsteph
Cloth Nappy Clanger
Cloth Nappy Clanger

Re: Clinginess

Postby Velvetsteph » Sat May 29, 2010 7:57 pm

I think if she is genuinely upset then there's something bothering her... :hug:

There are certain things that DH cannot do for Isabelle unless I'm actually out of the house without absolute screaming hysteria... Brushing teeth is one and we've worked out that it's because he's probably not quite as gentle as me (plus I take less nonsense from her and she knows it ;) ) and it's just not worth forcing the issue over things like this... But she's fine if I'm not there :roll:

If she's feeling unwell that does explain it and it's not without reason so take it easy on her and your DH will just have to suck it up and accept that when we are poorly the one person we want is our mum... :hug:

My avatar
Annette
Cloth Nappy Ninky Nonk
Cloth Nappy Ninky Nonk

Re: Clinginess

Postby Annette » Sat May 29, 2010 8:28 pm

northernruth wrote:Thing is, I don't really want to give in to it as it's a bit manipulative (sorry, I hate it when ppl use that expression about kids but you know what I mean), but at the same time she is genuinely upset :-? .


I totally know what you mean, but in all honesty, as this is a new thing and she has been feeling poorly I would let it go and take the easy route of doing things rather than DH. There was a time when only I could put Charlotte to bed, DH was just not good enough, he could do everything else for her but only I could put her to bed. And it was easier all round to go along with it. Now there is not problem, she will usually choose who she wants but it alternates quite well - I dread to think what will happen when Ben starts arguing with her over who will put them to bed. So yes, maybe you can describe it as manipulative but if that is what they need?

Charlotte has always been a much more clingy child than any I know. To the point we could go to a soft play centre and she would sit on my lap in preference to going off to play on the equipment with her friends. But we are gradually seeing her confidence build - it is totally different to your situation but what I have found is that you cannot force these things, just telling Charlotte to go off and play like all the other children has never worked. But supporting her and being there when she wanted us has gradually allowed her to develop her confidence, knowing if she needs us, we will be there for her.

I would prefer her to be independent because she knows we are there for her, rather than independent because she doesn't think there is any alternative iyswim


Return to Baby and Toddler