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Meal refusal

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jules070603
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Meal refusal

Postby jules070603 » Mon Mar 03, 2008 5:28 pm

Zach has just refused his tea even th0ugh I kn0w it is s0mething he likes and I kn0w he is hungry. This is happening frequently at the m0ment.

While I kn0w this isn't unusual in an alm0st 2 year 0ld I d0n't want t0 give him anything he is p0inting t0 (i.e. ch0c0late and biscuits) but sh0uld I instantly 0ffer him fruit 0r cereal 0r will this just c0mp0und the issue d0 y0u think?

He is 0bvi0usly trying t0 be a bit independant and telling me he d0esn't want s0mething BUT I d0n't want t0 give him the impressi0n that mummy/daddy/grandma will just keep c00king until he decides he likes what he is 0ffered :lol: he'll be bad en0ugh as a teenager :wink:

What d0 y0u d0 in this situation?

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JanX
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Re: Meal refusal

Postby JanX » Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:26 pm

Hi Jules

If Lucas refuses food that I know he likes I just take it away and tell him there is nothingelse and he can either eat what he has or have nothing!

And I follow through!

I will then leave him with nothing to eat (no snacks, nothing!) and the nearer bedtime I usually give him 1 weetabix (just so he's not going to be starving iyswim! but boring food so he can see he won;t get anything better if he refuses). If it was his lunch then tbh I don;t give him anything until tea time!

He rarely refuses food now as a result of having this done to him :wink:

jan x

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bibble
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Re: Meal refusal

Postby bibble » Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:31 pm

Scott was a monkey for this a while back and still occaisionally tries his luck. I, like you, worry about a new habit setting in as Scott's a lover of ritual and routine and if I gave in, he'd soon expect that everyday.

I take a hard line. If Scott at mealtime refuses his dinner only to ask for an alternative, I tell him no. A fit of screaming and tears and pounding of fists normally follows so I avoid eye contact. At first, he finished up having no dinner, having a bath as usual and off to bed with nothing (mean mummy!!). The next day, he ate beautifully. The last time he refused dinner, I did the usual, said no to pudding and left his dinner out and carried on feeding Blake, praising Blake "good boy for eating YOUR dinner" (aren't I mean?). After what felt like 10 mins (probably 3!) he sat back up and ate all his dinner and even asked for seconds.

I'm not as mean as I sound...honest. If I give him something completely new and he has a good try and then refuses, I would give him something else and praise him for trying. I also don't force him to clear his plate. Scott normally eats away and when he's had enough, pushes his plate to one side. As long as he's had a good go at it, that's plenty in my book.

Well, that's what I do, I hope that's helped a bit?

Vicky

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JennyWren
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Re: Meal refusal

Postby JennyWren » Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:52 am

I would definitely be very matter of fact about it (no pleading) and offer no other snacks/alternative meals. I had a friend who used to cook up about 3 alternative suppers until she struck upon something that was agreeable to her son!! When he does eat well I would definitely give praise for that. Also I wonder if you could involve him in helping prepare the food and making choices about small portions of different things that he enjoys. I think toddlers quite like the grazing style of eating.
I tend to give Liv a choice if she is being awkward, without her realising that I am getting the outcome that I hoped for eg. are you going to have the carrots or this bit of chicken now? I think she feels that way that she is retaining some control over her life and this avoids conflict.
We are having some awkwardness at the moment, not with eating especially, but usually trying to run off in shops and demonstrative toddler behaviour. I am trying to get along with this in the same way, by offering a choice ie. have a carry/hold hands and distraction - looking at something interesting as we go along. Also I get down to eye level and talk calmly about why she needs to stay with mum.
I think it's all normal toddler stuff - a struggle between wanting independence and needing you still, struggles over food are a pretty common way of expressing it, but you're right, you don't want to be dealing with incredible faddishness later.

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Velvetsteph
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Re: Meal refusal

Postby Velvetsteph » Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:24 pm

Hmmm - Isabelle will very rarely not touch food at all - she's more likely to muck about with it, chew and spit or throw the food at which point I take it away and tell her why etc...

I don't offer the same thing later as by then it may well be not nice (e.g. I don't like cold fish-fingers)

Jenny I wish the choices thing worked on Isabelle! She just refuses/throws both!! :D

Could it be that he is teething and just doesn't want to put anything in his mouth?

Isabelle still has days where she seems to survive on milk (both mummy and moo)...

I don't give her what she is pointing at if she's refused her lunch/etc (e.g. like you say biscuits) unless it is something healthy like fruit, cereal, bread as we all have days where we fancy something different...

This might sound mean but could he be bored with his favourites? I know Isabelle loves various cereals for example but if she has them too often she'll refuse them even if she is ravenous...

It also depends on the meal as to what I'll do... Sorry - probably not being terribly helpful, find it hard to type these things easier to explain in person IYKWIM! :)

I agree it is very frustrating though especially when you know it means they will wake in the night due to hunger :twisted:

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Pinchette
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Re: Meal refusal

Postby Pinchette » Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:09 pm

Very interesting suggestions. I have the same problem with Kiara.
I think that because she gets pasta every lunchtime at MIL, she expects it in the evening and weekeends too. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
She ate nothing but corn cakes and yogurts on sunday. Nothing either last night. I used to offer alternatives but I don't anymore. I give her a yogurt and then I replace the bedtime bottle by porridge.

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trogette
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Re: Meal refusal

Postby trogette » Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:03 pm

I'm more of an 'unfooder' in that I wouldn't totally withold food, I would give a limited non-cooked choice, and I would leave his plate there until he came back for it, dd4 regularly left hers for an hour and came back eventually and scoffed the lot, until quite recently. The last thing you want is food being a battleground.

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Velvetsteph
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Re: Meal refusal

Postby Velvetsteph » Thu Mar 06, 2008 10:50 pm

Aye - sometimes Isabelle wants to run around and just takes random bites of stuff... I think that way there's less 'pressure' to eat if that makes sense?
I'm generally fairly laid back about Isabelle's eating but of course I still want her to eat and I'm sure they pick up on that...

That's how she ends up eating her breakfast with DH and then has half of mine 1/2 hr later!! :roll:

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jules070603
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Re: Meal refusal

Postby jules070603 » Fri Mar 07, 2008 1:31 pm

Hmmm, Thanks every0ne. 0n the evening in questi0n I gave Zach ready brek which he w0lfed d0wn and a pear.

Its still happening regularly, t0day he ate s0me 0f his dinner (was bits 0f salad etc) then wanted 'ch0c' (h0w typical that he can say ab0ut 15 w0rds and ch0c0late is 0ne 0f them!!!) I w0uldn't give in and he had a bit 0f a paddy but I left a banana where he c0uld get it and eventually he ate it and came and sat 0n my knee :-)

An0ther 0ne 0f th0se 'phases' : roll :

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