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Have i done the right thing or the wrong thing? UPDATED PG3

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jules070603
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Re: Have i done the right thing or the wrong thing?

Postby jules070603 » Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:00 pm

I think you've done the right thing, much better than your mums alternative :evil: :roll:

Zach was in a cot until he was nearly 3.

BTW Zach has started getting up and playing for hours and its driving us mad :x I know he is much older but I can empathise with you. We left it for a while but he hasn't settled down any so we are back to being bad cop :roll: Unfortuntely we can't put him in his cot as Imogen is in it :giggle:

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Annette
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Re: Have i done the right thing or the wrong thing?

Postby Annette » Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:01 pm

it is so hard cos they pick on the slightest things. Ben plays up whenever dh goes away overnight. I think he is too young to understand why he isn't there. So could definately be a reaction to a change - or just a stubborn toddler! Ben is very defiant at the moment as he has realised he can decide what he does - i am trying very hard to make sure he knows he must do what i say! He needs limits to learn this so the cot sides are a great example. You are doing a great job, don't doubt yourself.

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zoeyboo
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Re: Have i done the right thing or the wrong thing?

Postby zoeyboo » Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:09 pm

123princesssammie wrote:and zoey, thinking about it maybe it could be a regression thing (although she isnt getting upset just gets up and plays) she has been a few changes in the last fortnight, i have had to stop access with her dad due to issues and this is now going through the courts and she isnt seeing him in the meantime and i have also met a new partner myself so she sees him around the flat on occasions (bad timing i know but i guess you cant help these things),

so if its a regression thing, anything else i should look out for? xx


It's nothing bad or a problem, lots of children do similar things when they get a new brother or sister, it's just a phase so don't worry about it at all, she is still only very little, just trust your instincts, lots of kisses & cuddles & reassurance (I'm sure she gets plenty anyway) you might fund certain things go backwards, things she was doing for herself she suddenly can't/won't this can be eating/speech/sleep anything really ... she may not be upset but may be waking & wanting your attention/company which = reassurance that you are there to her. Hopefully the cot-side will help :hug:

Hope things are sorted quickly with her Dad :hug: & lovely to hear you've met someone :wine:

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123princesssammie
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Re: Have i done the right thing or the wrong thing?

Postby 123princesssammie » Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:13 pm

zoeyboo wrote:
123princesssammie wrote:and zoey, thinking about it maybe it could be a regression thing (although she isnt getting upset just gets up and plays) she has been a few changes in the last fortnight, i have had to stop access with her dad due to issues and this is now going through the courts and she isnt seeing him in the meantime and i have also met a new partner myself so she sees him around the flat on occasions (bad timing i know but i guess you cant help these things),

so if its a regression thing, anything else i should look out for? xx


It's nothing bad or a problem, lots of children do similar things when they get a new brother or sister, it's just a phase so don't worry about it at all, she is still only very little, just trust your instincts, lots of kisses & cuddles & reassurance (I'm sure she gets plenty anyway) you might fund certain things go backwards, things she was doing for herself she suddenly can't/won't this can be eating/speech/sleep anything really ... she may not be upset but may be waking & wanting your attention/company which = reassurance that you are there to her. Hopefully the cot-side will help :hug:

Hope things are sorted quickly with her Dad :hug: & lovely to hear you've met someone :wine:



Ahh thinks hun, will keep a eye out, and cuddles and kisses are always on tap :giggle:

:lookround: it still early days with the new partner, well i say that i have none him for 14years :giggle:

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choccylisa
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Re: Have i done the right thing or the wrong thing?

Postby choccylisa » Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:14 pm

:hug: You did the right thing hun. Steven went thru it when I split with his dad, he was 6 mths but knew something was different. Then I met my dh 2 mths later and it was all change again when he moved in, so was hard, Steven played up a lot and wouldn't go to bed til 10pm, regardless of being in a cot or in our bed! We've recently gone thru courts as well and altho it's been tough getting what we think is right for Steven, it's still hard as his dad and family don't have the same values as we do or views on whats best for Steven. His routine is very disruptive and it affects his behaviour a lot. You just need to stick with what you feel is the right thing for her and stick with that when she's with you. Just a slight change in routine can make them upset, I never realised that until all this happened with ds1. :hug: Hope things work out for you both, I'm sure she'll settle down.

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Bluebell
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Re: Have i done the right thing or the wrong thing?

Postby Bluebell » Sat Jul 03, 2010 11:30 am

I don't think you did anything wrong at all.

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dawnsmummy
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Re: Have i done the right thing or the wrong thing?

Postby dawnsmummy » Sat Jul 03, 2010 11:33 am

123princesssammie wrote:( i called my mum for some advice and was very very shocked at her reply, basically saying if she got up tell her to lay down and smack her leg enough for it too sting so she cried :evil: :shock: :evil: :shock: and to continue to so this till she fell asleep then after a few nights she would get the hint, am still shocked at my mums repsonse and can safely say alesha will never be left in her care(hasnt done so far anyway) and i will not be taking her "advice" x

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

RE: the cot side, Dawn still has one side on her bed, the one next to the wall, and the other side she has a bed guard. Could it be maybe that she liked the feeling of having 'something' there next to her, iykwim?

ETA: And good luck with the new fella :wink: :hug:

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beck
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Re: Have i done the right thing or the wrong thing?

Postby beck » Sat Jul 03, 2010 12:05 pm

Certainly did nothing wrong and :shock: to your mum's advice.

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laceybat
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Re: Have i done the right thing or the wrong thing?

Postby laceybat » Sat Jul 03, 2010 6:11 pm

do what right for you and your family :shock: at your mum's advice

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