Sleep or lack of it.

Has anyone used a particular sleep solution and got on with it?

Bascially Grace is now 8.5 months I generally try to get her in bed for 9 although this will be coming forward for when I go back to work around Xmas, some nights she settles, some she's still awake at 11. Some nights she goes to sleep herself, others I breastfeed or rock her to sleep.

For some reason she's started waking every 1-3 hours and even if she's settled herself when I put her to bed initially, she won't go back to sleep without a breastfeed and ends up more wound up and awake the longer I resist. She sleeps in her cot although it is in our room near the bed.

She feeds in the day but not a large amount as she's on 3 meals a day now anyway which I give generally 1/2hr to 1hr after her having a milkfeed no matter how short as these seem to vary a lot lengthwise nowadays.

Willing to consider anything other than controlled crying, we tried for half an hour last night and both gave in!! Plus she has a heart condition so leaving her crying and getting more and more upset freaks me out a bit although apparently it won't hurt her.

is it possible she is having a growth spurt so is waking with hunger? hence why only settles after BF ? x

She sounds like a normal bf baby to me.

These links might help:

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/index.html

The waking sounds fairly normal for a breastfeeding baby but that's quite a late bedtime IMHO

Things to consider are if she's waking frequently (every 45mins) is her nappy wet (even if it hasn't leaked) is she cold?

Leaving a baby to cry IS harmful regardless of having a heart condition so you're right to follow your instincts.
And there's a world of difference between a little wingeing and distressed crying (no child should ever be left to cry distressed)

With my DD1 she had a later bedtime but slept badly... DD2 from an early age she wanted peace and quiet and dark and settled much better with a 7pm bedtime and slept better than if she went to bed later...

What time does she wake in the morning and what are her naps like? Sounds like a bit of a late bedtime but depends when she gets up - if they are overtired they won't sleep. If they get used to feeding to sleep then they will want that when they wake in the night (which can be every 45 minutes) regardless of a growth spurt. You might be able to tell by the amount she is drinking in the night.

Elizabeth Pantley's book The No Cry Sleep Solution has some good tips on weaning them off night feeding. Also I have just got a book out of the library called Good Night Sleep Tight which is by a lady called Kim West aka the sleep lady, seems very sensible up till now (and no mention of the dreaded controlled crying).

I think you need to decide what you want to do - if you are happy to feed in the night in the hope it will improve by itself then do so, otherwise you need to stand firm on not feeding (maybe get DH to give her some cool boiled water etc). At the moment you are teaching her that she has to cry for a good while and eventually you will give in and feed her - no great surprise that she's getting agitated!!!

It's not easy, I went through months of this with my LO, sleep deprivation is a killer.

Funnily enough she wasn't as bad last night (famous last words!!) and only woke 3 times.

She generally wakes around 9-10 in the mornings so she is having a good 10-12 hours each night punctured by waking to feed. Some days she has a nap around 1 and another around 5, some she misses the earlier one and nothing not even a walk in the pram will send her off although she still has the later one fine.

I know the bedtime is late, it became a habit when she was smaller and I wouldn't leave her upstairs alone, she came up when I did. We've got one of those monitors with breathing sensor now so I will put her upstairs before i'm ready to follow.

I'm encouraged that nobody thinks that this is unsual for a bf baby, everyone else looks at me in horror when I tell them ''NO, she isn't sleeping through yet'' with a tone of voice that usually results in a change of subject!! mainly because most people I know have formula fed and I know that is coming as a suggestion.....

To be honest, I could cope if she only woke a few times like last night, although I'd be going to bed at 7 with her when I go back to work!! it's been the nights when it was every hour that have been a killler!! I don't think it's been a growth spurt though as it's been going on for about 4 weeks. The odd thing is that she'd sleep for a solid 6-7 hours when she was younger??

Was going to go to the library and see if they have either of those books but it's torrential rain and what looks like gailforce winds here today so i'm just hoping that she's as settled tonight, we won't be trying the controlled crying again anyway.

dexter used to have a late-ish bed time and we just brought it forward a bit at a time he now generally goes down between 6-7 and sleeps through to 6-7.

so you could try moving her bed time forward bit by bit I know if dex stays up later even if he doesn;t seem tired he normally is and then becomes more difficult to settle and wakes more often x

Around 4 months they become more aware of their surroundings and so when they wake through the night (which we all do at regualr intervals, babies have a sleep cycle of a mere 45 minutes) they look for the same comfort they had when they went to sleep. So if they have a dummy they cry for that, if they are fed to sleep they cry for a , if they are sung or rocked to sleep they look for that. Lots of babies sleep well until 4 months and then suddenly stop.

with ds he started wakening through the night alot at around 9-10 months. i put it down to lots of things- i was pregnant again and lost my milk, teeth et etc. he never really slept well after that until 21 months. by that point we had ruled out everything and thought he was wakening out of habit and ended up leaving him to cry. i know most people maybe don't agree with it, but it was sorted in four nights. now ds can sleep any time, any place.