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Bad sleep habits!

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clothsister
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Bad sleep habits!

Postby clothsister » Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:41 am

So for the first time since Chloe was born we've actually mastered A. Putting her to bed before we come to bed and B. Getting her to go straight back to sleep when she wakes up for a feed at night. You see I'd been hearing "keep the room dark" and not realising that people often meant keep the room pitch black. Once I did this my world changed BUT chloe is now waking every 2.5 hours at night I had been feeding her thinking this was what she was after but having read a bit in th baby whisperer I've now worked out a lot of this is bad habit and her just being a little git as she's not actually hungry and can be subdued by the usual walking her around etc... Which if she were hungry this wouldn't happen. Only problem is she refuses point blank to go to sleep and every time we put her back in her crib she screams again. I'm despeate not to just feed as I feel that I'm just making a rod for my own back! When she wants to sleep she has no problem settling herself so it's not that! This last half hour has been the first time I haven't just fed her as she'd never before woken up just for the sake of it so had presumed it was a growth spurt but it's been the same since new years eve and i'm so exhausted to have only had 2.5 hours sleep at a time. Plus after 4am it changes to pretty much every hour! We get her to bed between 7.30 and 8. She's then up around 10.30 then 1,3,5,and then at 6 I give up! Someone please help as this is killing me constantly feeling like I don't want to and can't do this anymore! (p.s there's no connection with her going to sleep earlier and starting to do this as she started waking more regularly before we started to get her to go to sleep earlier! I don't think it can be a growth spurt as she doesn't take that much feed when I do feed her and she goes perfectly 3 hours between feeds during the day! My biggest worry is she's literally drinking me dry at the moment and because I'm not getting any sleep my breasts don't feel like they're producing enough food for her! I've given up listening to the screaming so am feeding her but am trying to get her to take a full feed now so have turned on the lamp and yet all she now wants to do is sleep! HELP ME PLEASE BEFORE I SEND HER TO LIVE WITH CLOTHMAMA! P.s sorry for the long post p.p.s I already tank her up at night with her final feeds being 2 hours apart. Now i'm worried that it was hunger all along and am therefore wondering if I should use a formula feed at night just to top her off... Thoughts please. :) p.p.p.s not normally a rambling idiot! :) thanks for having the patience to read this far!

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clothsister
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Re: Bad sleep habits!

Postby clothsister » Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:44 am

God I just read that all back to myself and am now convinced that I've lost the plot. Forgot to say before new years eve she was sleeping betwee 5 and 7 hours straight! Chloe is 11 weeks and 6 days old and weighs 14lbs. Just as an fyi sort of thing! :)

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Shaunie
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Re: Bad sleep habits!

Postby Shaunie » Wed Jan 12, 2011 8:35 am

:hug: It is so very hard to manage when you're so tired. Your LO is still only 11 weeks old so this sleep pattern is quite normal. It's not what you want to hear but it really does get better. I used the baby whisperer with both boys and found it a god send.

How many times do you usually feed her during the night? At this age they will still need to eat in the night no matter how much tanking up you do. Breast milk is easily digested and by topping up with formula you *may* cause belly ache for her. I did this with DS1 and it made him worse so cut out the formula top ups. Didn't bother with DS2 at all.

HTH :D

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Velvetsteph
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Re: Bad sleep habits!

Postby Velvetsteph » Wed Jan 12, 2011 11:14 am

How old is Chloe now? It's really really NORMAL for babies to wake frequently in the night for food and comfort... Sorry!
And formula won't necessarily help, it might just upset her digestive system, cause problems with your milk supply, cause her to wake more frequently not less, cause colic and constipation...

I know it's frustrating and I understand the problem with sleep deprivation all too well...

Have you considered that something in your diet might be causing her a bit of discomfort? Cow's milk intolerance can cause wakefulness so you may find cutting out/down on milk may help you.

The darkness thing is a definate... Do you co-sleep? That should help, and how active do you keep her during the day? Make sure she knows that daytime is for being awake and bedtime is for sleep :)

Hugs xxx

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littlesez
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Re: Bad sleep habits!

Postby littlesez » Wed Jan 12, 2011 11:42 am

honestly my advice would be just go with it and stop worrying about what you think chloe should be doing. If i could go back int time i would say the same thing to myself. I would definatly agree that she isnt doing it to be a little git and any book that tells you that you or your baby has a bad habit at 11 weeks old needs ignoring IMO! I know baby whisperer has helped a lot of people but just take the bits that work for you. If soemthing doesn't work then it doesn't mnean your getting it worng. All babies and mums are just different xxx

they need to feed often at that age so "if in doubt get them out" :bf: your doing a fab job no need for any formula, trust your boobs! breast milk is produced on a supply and demand basis so if you feel your supply is dropping then feed more often to boost it, thats how it works.

sleep deprivation is hard but it doesn't last forever they go through stages and then eventually settle down, i found it a lot easier to cope with when i just accepted that rather than looking for answers/things to help this just stressed me out more :giggle:

Some people have found that formula helps to stretch feeds out but i have read a few mums on here saying that it made absolutley no difference except they have to get up and make a bottle in the night. With BF at least you can stay in bed! and in some cases i have just latched her on and gone back to sleep :D

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clothmama
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Re: Bad sleep habits!

Postby clothmama » Wed Jan 12, 2011 11:56 am

:hug: :hug: :hug: oh sweetie I missed this earlier.

I totally agree with all that Sara said Lucy and would have written something very similar myself so I shan't re-write it!!

Sleep deprivation is just a night mare but it does pass honestly, this is just a phase and you know that she can do it as she was doing it a couple of weeks back so she will again! Louis was over 6 months before he slept through on a regular basis and I'm pretty sure no matter what I gave him wouldn't have changed him. Yes there are babies that sleep through at 6 weeks but I think it is important to know that it is more often not the case so that you dont' feel like you are doing something wrong because she is not sleeping through.

The other thing that is really important to get your head around is that she isn't doing it to upset you / 'be a git' or anything like that she is just a very tiny baby that wants milk when she wants milk and her mummy when she wants her mummy. It doesn't last long and as hard as it seems treasure it because it is gone in the flash of an eye and next thing you know she'll be starting school!

Only 2 days to the weekend and you can try tocatch up on some sleep while Neil is home! Huge :hug: and please try not to stress so much as she'll pick up on that too :hug: :hug: :hug:

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Annette
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Re: Bad sleep habits!

Postby Annette » Wed Jan 12, 2011 12:05 pm

You know what I would do? Take a couple of days where you do nothing. Just relax, do not stress about anything. Do not look at the clock. Just go with what Chloe wants, rest when she is asleep, even if you don't actually sleep just lie down and relax. If you think she wants a feed then let her. Try to recoup some energy, having an 11 week old is tiring.

Honestly, put the books to one side and ignore people telling you how much their babies sleep. Sleep deprivation is horrible but she isn't doing it just to torture you, although it probably does feel that way but as everyone else has said, it will pass and she will sleep for longer stretches at a time, until eventually she will sleep a whole night.

Formula does seem to help some babies sleep for longer stretches and it can also help because someone else can take over a feed while you sleep. But it isn't by any means a magic solution and many find it doesn't help at all or there are still problems further down the line so don't switch just because you think it will be an instant miracle :wink: :hug:

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nappynutter
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Re: Bad sleep habits!

Postby nappynutter » Wed Jan 12, 2011 12:09 pm

clothsister wrote:So for the first time since Chloe was born we've actually mastered A. Putting her to bed before we come to bed and B. Getting her to go straight back to sleep when she wakes up for a feed at night. You see I'd been hearing "keep the room dark" and not realising that people often meant keep the room pitch black. Once I did this my world changed BUT chloe is now waking every 2.5 hours at night I had been feeding her thinking this was what she was after but having read a bit in th baby whisperer I've now worked out a lot of this is bad habit and her just being a little git as she's not actually hungry and can be subdued by the usual walking her around etc...


Eeek! Stop reading those books!! Babies don't have bad sleeping habits - waking at night for a feed is not only completely normal is a biological imperative which protects babies from SIDS as well as keeping your milk supply up (not feeding enough at night is the biggest cause of early weaning and early return of AF).

Perhaps adjust your expectations of what is normal for a baby? Formula won't help at all. It will reduce your supply and cause more problems for her. Try co-sleeping (if you don't already). The closer you are to her, the more relaxed she will be and the more likely you will both learn to feed in your sleep. Try to relax and trust her, she knows what she is doing. :wink: :hug:

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clothsister
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Re: Bad sleep habits!

Postby clothsister » Wed Jan 12, 2011 8:43 pm

thanks everyone think I just needed to vent my frustrations last night. Dh was trying to be helpful saying she wasn't hungry etc... And trying to calm her which was making her more angry. Not co sleeping but that's because I don't sleep properl when she's in the bed! I guess that's just another thing that's different for each person. I've decided today that I think she needs me to get my supply up as I feel constantly drained at the moment! Sorry if I sounded like a terrible mother was just having one of those nights! I think it's all still part of a growth spurt! I hope anyway. Will be so pleased with myself when I can say she was exclusively breast fed I think that's what's keeping me going! will keep focus on her christening which is all booked now for 20th feb! I know you can't make it Tory wish you could though. X

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