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How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

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aob1013
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How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby aob1013 » Sun Feb 06, 2011 12:59 pm

We are 100% attached parents. We breastfeed, use cloth nappies, practice BLW, attend immediately to Leni's needs, baby wear, all those things that make up an attached parent. We love it, and it works so well for us. Leni is reaping the benefits, and so are we!

However, a small problem. We are in the minority. Alot of people just do not approve, or even understand why we do all of these things. I am sick of the lines 'making a rod for your own back' 'oh just give him some formula' 'are you still breastfeeding? When will you give up?' ... you know what i mean!

I need to think of something witty to say! I am comfortable with the way we are doing things, it works for us. Doesn't mean it doesn't get to me though when people react negatively to it! :nonono:

Thanks!

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wytch
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Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby wytch » Sun Feb 06, 2011 2:15 pm

i know the feeling. Izzy is my Velcro baby. We breastfeed, use cloth nappies & baby wear etc. and people are forever saying negative things. They seemed to forget I did the same for my eldest Minus the BF as it didn't work out. She turned out fine and is a bright independent 2yr old.

Water off a ducks back to me. I'm choosing to raise my kids like this not drag them up like some family's do. the only person that get to me slightly is my mother. i know she means well and its just because she wants to take izzy for a couple of hours for nanny time but its annoying.

my comment to strangers when they dig is im sorry i wants aware your name was on the birth-cert how silly of me to care for my child! they normally go quiet then.

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Kirstyh
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Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby Kirstyh » Sun Feb 06, 2011 2:18 pm

it is not what I would choose to do but who the hell am I to judge you :wink: who says I am right and you are wrong and vice versa. They are your parenting choices and stuff every one else x

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laceybat
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Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby laceybat » Sun Feb 06, 2011 2:32 pm

i have thae same problem with my partners family. but my 21 month old son is thriving well and it my choice how to bring up my child and my parten and i have got ryan this far and he is quit bright for his age. i also say well you bring your childern up how you want so will with my child and just let it over your head i'm only just learning how to do that now. you know how you want to do it so do it your way you know best for your child :hug:

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northernruth
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Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby northernruth » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:20 pm

Do you need to say anything to them? Surely it's up to you - you could just say "it's just what I think is best" or something else. Be wary of saying anything to people that judges their parenting choices because then you are lowering yourself to their level!

But why do you care? Who are these people who feel they are entitled to comment on what you do? Some of it is in context - if you are complaining about not getting enough sleep or being woken up at night then people will wade in with their opinion. If it's uninvited then it's just plain rude!

My experience is mostly around the cloth nappies - and I found that if I was honest and straightforward with my answers to any questions rather than defensive then actually people were interested.

At the end of the day it's up to you and unless they are family members (in which case you need to have a quiet word) then I'd just avoid spending time with them.

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aob1013
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Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby aob1013 » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:25 pm

Thank you all for your responses!

It's mainly a problem i have with my Mum and i usually say 'well it works for me'.

Next time though, i think i may explain some of my choices. Hopefully it will make her a bit more accepting!

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BingBongBoo
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Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby BingBongBoo » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:28 pm

Those I care about - my friends and some family members - may not do things the way I do but they respect me as a parent and don't judge. I wouldn't dream of judging their methods either. Most parents do what they thing think is best for their children. Personally, I don't mind answering their questions but feel no need to justify my parenting decisions.

Casual acquaintances can think what they like. I'm secure in the choices I've made and am not easily intimidated so it's water off a duck's back whatever they think or say.

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northernruth
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Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby northernruth » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:31 pm

aob1013 wrote:Thank you all for your responses!

It's mainly a problem i have with my Mum and i usually say 'well it works for me'.

Next time though, i think i may explain some of my choices. Hopefully it will make her a bit more accepting!


Ah well that's a more difficult cross to bear - maybe if she still doesn't get it when you have explained, you could just gently ask her to respect your choices. :hug:

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Fayesmum
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Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby Fayesmum » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:36 pm

I get the same with my mum :roll: 'what you still feeding her for, she doesn't need it now' (Faye is 2!!) and 'why do you need to use those silly wool trousers, she looks much better with normal clothes'

And I have to say I can see where you are coming from, it does leave me feeling quite uncomfortable and a little bit vulnerable but I've learnt to ignore her and I know really she isn't being malicous

:hug: :hug: :hug:

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