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How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

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red_dwarf
Cloth Nappy Aficionado
Cloth Nappy Aficionado

Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby red_dwarf » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:39 pm

Some people especially those close to you really dont realise that what they are saying is hurtfull, so I will always calmly tell them that I dont apreciate what they are saying and explain to them why it has upset/annoyed me.
An aquaintance the other day turned round to me on FB chat and just said my god how log have you got left because you are massive :shock: (not the first fat/big comment shhe has come out with) so I calmly told her the tip that telling a pregnant woman she looks bog or is fat is not a good thing to do and is actually pretty offencinve.

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zippie-purple-monkey
Sucker for Cloth Nappies
Sucker for Cloth Nappies

Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby zippie-purple-monkey » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:42 pm

I think it's because parenting seems to have become a competition, which is utter nonsense. No-one is in ur shoes so it's unfair of them to negatively question ur methods.
As for family well that's tricky. I used to get told i feed the children diet food simply because they eat alot of fruit & veg. I didnt listen and carried on as i'm comfortable with my parenting choices.
I think if something is working well, stick with it and ignore the negativity, people always have an opinion on things that dont concern them.

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scarlet
Cloth Nappy Aficionado
Cloth Nappy Aficionado

Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby scarlet » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:53 pm

Does your mother realise how she is making you feel by her comments?
Maybe just explaining that you find her comments a bit upsetting ( or whatever you feel ) and just explain why you want to use cloth, breastfeed ect. Especially on the cloth thing about all the chemicals in depo's ect.
Sometimes it can be the case that if someone chooses a different parenting style to their parents, their parents feel like its a kick in the teeth ( what they did for you wasn't good enough).
We are lucky as we are all able to research whatever parenting decision we are considering making, our parents didn't have that luxury!
As for the " rod for your back comments" I find that hilarious. Fair enough if you were complaining about your choices. I for one am very happy with my rod and find it rather comfy! :wink: But again maybe she is just trying to be helpful.

Anyway hopefully by having a little chat you can stop these comments, if not I would try to ignore them.

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emmalala
Cloth Nappy Wise Woman
Cloth Nappy Wise Woman

Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby emmalala » Sun Feb 06, 2011 6:29 pm

My mum and dad are great, they don't say anything agaist what I do and support me. mum even loves his woolies and was a cloth user herself. My mother in law is a whole other story....

Had enough of the MIL! ggrr

Postby emmalala » Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:24 pm
once again she has cut dans hair and baileys and they look vile :cry:
she's shaved it on what looks like a blade 2. god I really want to kill her. I only let her look after them because I had to have a smear and there was no one else to watch them. I've gone mental with her. she said she was sick of seeing them look girly?! wtf? How dare she? I hate her soooo much. stupid idiot woman. now they look like little chavs. I am not impressed :x :x :x :x :x :x :x

viewtopic.php?f=48&t=69801&hilit=+MIL

More MIL :lol:
F£$%$%g MIL again ggrr

Postby emmalala » Sat Jun 05, 2010 8:17 pm
I soooo want to stab her, I hate her sooooo much. Today, daniel has been a bit whingy and clingy because he's cutting his back molars. Instead of him crying his eyes out i put him on my back in the sling (cue instant silence!) and got on with what I was doing while he was happy. Chuffing MIL turns up and said I'm a freak and I must be some kind of hippy woman. How can dan learn to be tough and get on in the world if he's strapped to your back like your in the jungle!She also said what kind of a mother puts a little boy in woolen trousers on a day like today!ffs, he's 18 months old!and he was wearing shorties over a fitted and nothing else! he's still only little, was out of sorts and wanted reassurence, honestly, words fail me. I did'nt half give her what for, its up to me what I do with my son, not her, and I would rather be in the flaming jungle or a hippy than be within 50 million miles of her! and i told her that too :giggle:
its a good job I know better otherwise he's be in sposies, the same one all day, eating tins of spag hoops all the time and sat on his own in the cot crying his self to sleep. And I would'nt pick him up ever. God, i hate her so much, she is sooo narrow minded and vile and I can't stand her. :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

MIL on facebook.. http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3 ... 459&ref=mf
and theres loads more like that when you get acess to the treehouse

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Emma1977
Cloth Nappy Passionata
Cloth Nappy Passionata

Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby Emma1977 » Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:23 pm

I got this to an extent from my MIL when I said I was using cloth. To her Pampers were luxury as sposies had only just come out when she had her bairns and were very expensive. She has accepted it but still doesn't get me putting Max in wool in the summer.

More recently Max has started sleeping in our bed. Previously he would sleep fine for 12 hours in his cot and then just before Xmas he started waking in the night and from there he ended up in our bed. 2 months and he is still there.....and I'm actually rather enjoying it. There is something right and secure feeling him pressed against my back and being able to hear him breath. My own mum keeps asking if he back in his own bed yet and that the longer I leave the harder it will be. No doubt it will be BUT at the mo this works for us. My maternal instincts tell me it is something he needs right now and so I'm going with it. I can't bear listening to him screaming for hours on end in his cot and its too stressful for him and for us.

Go with what feels right and works for you. You'll soon know if something isn't working as your LO will let you know. :wink:

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aob1013
Clothie
Clothie

Re: How do you ignore the negative views on your parenting?

Postby aob1013 » Sun Feb 06, 2011 8:14 pm

Thank you all for your wonderful replies!

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