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Advice on getting him to listen please!

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littlesez
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Re: Advice on getting him to listen please!

Postby littlesez » Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:50 pm

The way we do it with izzy is don't actually use the word no unless its absolutely necessary like hitting or plug sockets. so i suppose what i am saying is pick your battles. Izzy gets pretty much ignored for the little things we address the big things and then praise EVERYTHING positive, i mean we really are OTT with encouragement and praise.

She doesn't get punished as i feel its pointless at this age or rewarded as i don't see why she should be bribed :giggle: but she gets so much positively that she doesn't really bother with doing anything naughty as she has had a very clear and consistant message for the past 2 years that it just gets ignored.

when i want her to do something like get dressed or something equally boring :hohoho: i make it sound really exciting and say stuff liek yayyyy lets goooooooo!

When i want her to go in a certain direction (which is usually the opposite direction she wants!) i say "quick quick find the door !" or play chase :giggle:

I make everything a game like putting on shoes is something izzy isn't very fond of so we just count one foot two feet or left foot right foot. It sounds simple but its really effective :D

If she does something undesirable i tell her very firmly to stop and show her that i am unhappy by my tone and face. I give her a reason eg sharp, it hurts, its hot THEN show her the opposite of what she is doing so aww be nice to the cat stroking ect. :hohoho:

so when she is goign about her business i can say sharp! and she knows not to touch it .

sorry i have waffled for ages Hope some of it helps xxx

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northernruth
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Re: Advice on getting him to listen please!

Postby northernruth » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:12 pm

I try to stay calm and have a different tone of voice for when I am getting serious, getting down to their level and talking in a low calm voice helps. We use time out/ naughty step here too but after the first time it rarely gets used, Martha hates it so I can say "do I have to count to 3" and she will come running and often get upset at the thought that counting to 3 might be used!

If we do use the step I always try to use it calmly - if I am angry or riled I am more likely to walk out of the room and come back when I have calmed down. Shouting doesn't work but we all do it from time to time, they do know how to wind us up!

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tiyuricc
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Re: Advice on getting him to listen please!

Postby tiyuricc » Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:41 pm

with having just done bedtime, i remember the one thing that works with ds is make everything competitive. he used to make such a fuss going to bed, now as soon as he sees the clock is 19:00 he says 'i'll race you to the bathroom', because that's how we got him to do it. we started of by saying 'i'll beat you to the bathroom', he'd say 'no you won't' and be off. now he'll instigate it himself. if he's not eating well at dinnertime it's either 'bet you cant find something green to eat', changing for each mouthful, or 'bet you can't finish before daddy' or simply 'theres no way you'll be able to eat x,z and z'.

he's so competitive and stubborn and so insistent that mummy is always 100% wrong and he always know better, it gets thigs done.

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twinkletot
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Re: Advice on getting him to listen please!

Postby twinkletot » Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:49 pm

tiyuricc wrote:with having just done bedtime, i remember the one thing that works with ds is make everything competitive. he used to make such a fuss going to bed, now as soon as he sees the clock is 19:00 he says 'i'll race you to the bathroom', because that's how we got him to do it. we started of by saying 'i'll beat you to the bathroom', he'd say 'no you won't' and be off. now he'll instigate it himself. if he's not eating well at dinnertime it's either 'bet you cant find something green to eat', changing for each mouthful, or 'bet you can't finish before daddy' or simply 'theres no way you'll be able to eat x,z and z'.

he's so competitive and stubborn and so insistent that mummy is always 100% wrong and he always know better, it gets thigs done.


That's what I have started doing with Nathan. He is the king of male deafness and with things like tidying up or continuing to walk :roll: telling him that I will beat him (no not beat him, win :wink: ) at whatever we are doing he tends to buck up pretty quick! He likes to win lol.

Otherwise though all my usual things that I would do are not really working that well any more :x You have to get very very stern with him for him to actutally listen now. He only listened to his swimming teacher the other day when after being told 5 times to stop ducking under she told him if he didn't stop he'd be on the side. He was the best behaved I have ever seen him in his lesson after that!

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aob1013
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Re: Advice on getting him to listen please!

Postby aob1013 » Sun Feb 06, 2011 8:17 pm

Everyone is different i guess. We will try and ignore the unacceptable behaviour and if it doesn't work, try time out.

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emmalala
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Re: Advice on getting him to listen please!

Postby emmalala » Sun Feb 06, 2011 8:45 pm

He's still pretty young to understand time out and stuff tbh. I don't do it with daniel yet because he wouldn't understand it. I just do what sara said (littlesez) and make games out of stuff. ignore the little things and praise the good behaviour. they understand more as they get older and I find it amusing when daniel runs off when its changing time, shows he has a good understanding of life :lol:

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