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Help - advice please!

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JabberJabber
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Help - advice please!

Postby JabberJabber » Sun May 15, 2011 7:21 pm

So right now I'm feeling a little sensitive, so want other peoples opinions.

DS is being a typical toddler and testing his boundaries, to which we are trying to be consistent.

He's also becoming very picky with food, but we are trying to offer him a good range of things and keep calm, using the line 'he'll eat if he's hungry'.

As you've probably seen, we've had problems with getting him into bed and to stay there. I think this is sorted, after books and milk, we put him to bed and stay in his room until he's asleep. We'll slowly move towards the door over the next few weeks to see if we can encourage him to settle on his own.

There are a couple of things that are really getting to me:

- he wants daddy and not me. For EVERYTHING! I'm pushed out of the way and am shouted at and hit if DH is around. He won't let me settle him if he's upset. It makes me sad that I no longer have the 'power' to make him as happy as daddy does :giggle:

- he wants to be carried the whole time, but won't go in a sling. He won't walk and he's not the lightest chap.

Is this all normal, will these 'phases' pass? Shall I just grin and bear it?

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coastal
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Re: Help - advice please!

Postby coastal » Sun May 15, 2011 7:37 pm

Yup... all normal and it will pass.
If it was me, I wouldn't just accept the carrying thing though. Carrying without the sling will be putting your body under a lot a strain, so you have good reason for laying down the law on this one... but then I still have spd issues 3 years on, which colours my ideas. :giggle:

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ramsons
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Re: Help - advice please!

Postby ramsons » Sun May 15, 2011 7:47 pm

:hug: :hug: :hug:

They go through lots of wierd phases. I currently have a stroppy teenager in a 3 year old's body. :lol:

Food-wise ds1 used to eat everything then got steadily more picky, he also went through a 3week phase when he refused point blank to eat tea every single night.
Every time something like this happens, we've had a think worked out what we want to stick to and backed off a bit. So when he stopped eating at teatime, we stopped using the high chair, told him he could eat with us if he wanted, but if not to go in the other room (front room with his toys) and put serve yourself type food on the table instead of putting a full pre served meal on a plate in front of him. He started eating again in 3 days. :lookround:
He is hideously picky now though, eats fruit by the shedload, bread, point blank refuses all meat except sausages. Won't eat veg except asparagus and potatoes at the moment. Will eat soup but only if its blended.

ds1 went through a phase when I was the evil dead, it was because i ended up being the strict one. I had a talk with dh to get him to back me up more on certain issues, but the fact he has a strong bond with ds has helped alot now ds2 is about. I wouldn't take it personally, enjoy the space it gives you a bit?

Can't help you on the carry no sling bit, ds1 was carried in a sling until he refused to be slung and then I refused to carry him any other way so we just walked slowly everywhere. He now has scooter which means I now end up running behind him :lol:

good luck :hug: :hug:

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Jellybelly6
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Re: Help - advice please!

Postby Jellybelly6 » Sun May 15, 2011 9:43 pm

Ah, the independent toddler phase. Yes I am very familiar with that one. I always took a moment to step back and decide if it was a battle line I needed to fight or not an important one. I had the wanting to be carried battle which was one I did decide to fight for the sake of my back. He was expected to walk if refusing. I often needed to leave extra time in case it was a "no" moment! Took patience but got there in the end and sometimes we just walked very slowly! I do think I could now get a job with the UN peace keeping negotiation team now LOL. Good luck and yes it is just another phase and in time it will pass.

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pinksalmon2001
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Re: Help - advice please!

Postby pinksalmon2001 » Mon May 16, 2011 6:14 am

:hug: :hug: hun, toddlers are hard work aren't they :giggle:

No advice on the daddy thing as ds is very mummified but i'm sure it is a stage that will pass quickly :hug:

We take a similar view to food as you - Tyler is offered food at breakfast, lunch and dinner times and a snack either am or pm but we don't make an issue of it and don't force him to sit at the table. 9 times out of 10 he does sit and eat the majority of whats on offer! I just work hard to make sure that everything that he is offered is relatively healthy so that I am less bothered if he doesn't eat a particular meal.

With regards to the walking/carrying though I have set some boundaries as Tyler is just too heavy for me to carry for more than a couple of minutes. He is always offered the choice of walking or going in the sling - if we are walking a long way then I generally take the buggy and then he has a 3rd option. I won't back down on this one and he always choses an option eventually :giggle:


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