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Sleep time advice

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red_dwarf
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Sleep time advice

Postby red_dwarf » Wed Aug 17, 2011 10:24 am

Hi ladies. Im looking or a little bit of advice to help us with getting Oliver to sleep.
At the mo he will only go to sleep if either I hold him in my arms and rock him to sleep, or if he is in the sling. He Fights against sleep sooooo much. He doesnt have set bed time or nap times, I just follow his sleepy cues which are really easy to read thanks to the fact that the skin under his eyes turns red when he is tired just like me :giggle: The problem I really have is that he starts struggling and crying when I try to get him to sleep and its breaking my heart watching my LO cry and cry whilst cuddled in my arms :cry:
He will NOT go to sleep when he is tired. He will fight it and fight it and get grumpy and cry until he falls asleep with exhaustion. Normally the rocking and crying only lasted about 10 mins which was easy and doable and that is still the case for nap times during the day, but bed times are nopw another story. He usually starts to show sleepy signs at arround 7:30-8:30. I make him a bottle, get him into his sleeping bag and then start with the rocking. Sometimes he takes the bottle sometimes he refuses even if I know he is due a feed. He has his dummy which he bobs on and off of to cry and he started grabbing my face and puching himself away so now I have to pin his arm under my arm to stop him from grabbing my face. This goes on for arround an hour before he is finally exhausted enough to fall asleep. I then pop him on his tummy on the sofa next to us until we are ready to go up to bed and he comes with us. If he refused to take his bottle while going to sleep I then give it to him after popping him in his night nappy which he normally sleeps through. even if he wakes up while changing he normally goes to sleep again really quickly after the feed.
What can I do to stop this or at least reduce the stress he is going through. He is soo tired but there is other things he finds more interesting than sleep and if I leave him he gets grumpy and starts crying anyway :doh: My mum and dad told me that if he doesnt want to sleep then to just leave him but that causes more problems. I rally dont know what I can do to make bedtimes a little easier. Also if we have had a difficult bedtime he tends to cry in his sleep a little after we have gone to bed which just breaks my heart to hear. :cry: :cry:

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mummy_goose1
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Re: Sleep time advice

Postby mummy_goose1 » Wed Aug 17, 2011 10:43 am

oh hun, sending :hug: :hug: :hug:
im a bit rubbish with advice to be honest! but didnt want to read and run.
my only humble suggestion... is he a little overtired when you start? coz if Hay is overtired it makes getting her to sleep so much harder!!!!!
don't worry - im sure someone will be along soon with much more knowledge and helpful advice!!!! :hug: :hug:

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peachy.moo
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Re: Sleep time advice

Postby peachy.moo » Wed Aug 17, 2011 10:47 am

No advice either- but lots of :hug: :hug: :hug:- Arlo fights sleep, but not too much (just up every 2hrs in the night) But Kai & esp Elsie were/ are poor sleepers, it is exhausting :(

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choccylisa
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Re: Sleep time advice

Postby choccylisa » Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:01 am

:hug: :hug: I've never found an answer and mine started 7 years ago! I'm just lucky that ds3 actually sleeps for 6 hrs overnight, the others never did and ds2 still doesn't :roll:

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evansmummy
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Re: Sleep time advice

Postby evansmummy » Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:08 am

No advice but :hug: you're describing Noah :oops: wish there was an answer :hug:

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beffys
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Re: Sleep time advice

Postby beffys » Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:15 am

Have you tried winding him down and getting his final sleep routine in his room or your room, rather than in living room with you where there is still lots of stimulation. I know what you mean about following his cues as each baby is different and their sleep habits gradually change. I remember at one point having to keep her hands held softy to stop her flailing them about around that age, but by then naps and bedtime happened in our bedroom with curtains closed, lights off, etc and catching her with her bedtime routine before she started to get overtired. Our kids don't tend to need to be in arms, but they do need someone lying or close by until they nod off.

The baby sleep book and no cry sleep solution are good in terms of helping you to work out other ways, associations and crutches for them to use to get off to sleep. I would be trying to stop rocking him to sleep if it was me, just because for me it would be too much reliance from my perspective, but it's not necessarily wrong if that's what works. I'm not really one for breaking bad habits iyswim, as I don't necessarily agree they are bad habits if they work and baby is happy and secure. With Ella I always laid down next to her. With Niamh she's a better sleeper and feeds to sleep, but doesn't actually cry to be fed in the night. She makes excited noises instead. :giggle:

Thing to bear in mind is their sleep habits gradually change as they develop anyway.

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Kirstyh
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Re: Sleep time advice

Postby Kirstyh » Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:18 am

Is her over tired perhaps? Maybe start getting him ready for bed a bit earlier, I know when I am tired the last thing I feel like doing is eating. What about putting him to bed rather than letting him sleep on the sofa until you go to bed, by lifting him he is being disturbed, if i was disturbed from sleep it would be met with a swift punch in the face :giggle:

Have you tried the shh pat method rather than rocking? It is just that, pop him in bed gently pat and say shhhh, that way you still have contact with each other, he is reassured you are still there and is comforted x

:hug: :hug:

crossed with Beth there

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BingBongBoo
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Re: Sleep time advice

Postby BingBongBoo » Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:23 am

Perhaps an 45 minutes or so before he normally starts to get tired, you could start a soothing bedtime routine. E.g., bath, PJs, story in a quiet dim room, milk and then cuddles. As someone else has suggested, it may be that there is just too much stimulation in the living room. I also agree that the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' is a great book. It has fab suggestions for gentle ways to encourage your LO to go to sleep and the autor is absolutely against CIO/CC.

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red_dwarf
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Re: Sleep time advice

Postby red_dwarf » Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:26 am

The problem with putting him upstairs is that when he is asleep he wakes up and if we dont pat his bum and shush him quickly then he is wide awake and the whole things starts all over again. when we did put him to bed upstairs I was up and down up and down and tbh im too lazy to keep going upstairs and back again :oops:

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