Sleep support or advice or help please!

Although I am currently feeling relaxed and non-stressed, due to LO finally being asleep and a little glass of , I really need help / support / advice ...

My 9 month old ds is up at least every 2 hours each night. Despite my current relaxed feelings, this is killing me. This pattern has been going on for about 3 months, before then he slept maybe 4 hours, fed, 3 hours, fed, 2 hours, fed, etc. He would tend to fall asleep but was younger and I was told that was ok to do? Have been told by people since that it isn't a good idea... He had even slept through a few times but it stopped when he got a cold and hasn't come back. During the last 3 months he had a cough for a month or so (which meant he sicked up all his last feed and tea), a virus and has got 3 teeth (with 3 on the way) in that time, which I'm assuming haven't helped him to sleep. He doesn't really nap during the day, although for a few weeks I managed to get him to nap by lying down and leaving him there.

I think if you all told me yours were the same, I'd just get on with it as I really don't want to complain about stuff - he's fantastic and I'm so lucky he is my son! I feel incredibly fortunate to share my life with him so really want to take the rough with the smooth. But if it's possible to sleep more, that would be amazing as I'm in a way most people can't understand. But I'm assuming a lot of people here *do* get it!

I really couldn't CIO with him or CC. He doesn't really cry much, so when he does it's serious bananas... if he's whingey moaning trying to have his own way crying I can identify that and ignore it when that's appropriate.

At the moment I'm trying to stay awake during feeds and put him back down in his cot each time, instead of bringing him to bed, so at least dh and me can *not* have bad backs when we wake up in the morning. He isn't settling himself though, and screams himself into a state if he's put down without being totally asleep. I've wondered if this has something to do with me not him to sleep? Am trying to break that too as I think that's contributed to the problem

So tonight we had tea *way* earlier than normal, he was in bed nearly 2 hours earlier than normal and hasn't taken quite as long to settle (just over an hour, instead of a few hours). He didn't nap today till 4 though, and then for only 20 mins or so. I'm planning on getting a seriously early night so I've got some energy to deal with him overnight.

Please share your experience with me so I can learn?! Sorry to have written so much, but I've stopped telling people what nights are like as I feel people are judging me and it's making me paranoid....

No advice here but huge Callums 18 months and still is poor sleeper and Aidan had night terrors a few times a week till Callum was born then they stopped. I'm wondering if Callum is developing night terrors too as he's started waking between 12 and 2 for the last fortnight screaming and it can take upto 3 hours to settle him either that or more developmental stuff. Between 6 weeks and 5 months he was sleeping through, but with growth spurts, milestone's, teething and illnesses it just went down hill. I can't remember Aidan being this bad but he probably was and I've just forgotten. Aidan's 8 now and sleeping through so there is hope

this was me 2 years ago
Izzy was a frequent waker. I thought i was getting it all wrong but now she is all settled She sometimes goes to sleep with me in her bed cuddling, sometimes on her own reading, sometimes with me reading, sometimes she will just announce "mumy im going to bed"

do you know what im really really glad we didnt do a strict routine now. I worried at the time but happy now. She will be 3 in feb and is a great sleeper now. Waking once at the most

I was paranoid about feeding to sleep but its all good IMO What a lovely way for a baby to fall asleep These times when they are getting colds and teething are hard but tis just a phase an dwill pass. I always recommend no cry sleep solution book just as we liked it. we didnt follow everything but just took what we wanted from the book. There are some lovely ideas in there.

xxx

Right well first off feeding to sleep is normal and natural and if thats what your baby needs who gives a flying f*ck what Gill down the road says you should be doing? They dont feed to sleep forever, at some point they decide they dont need to anymore and it is at very different points to the next child along.
I severely doubt that feeding your baby to sleep as he has NEEDED has contributed to any perceived problem...how else would he have gotten to sleep...through exhaustion from crying? From being carried around in your arms? From being bounced?
Next...co-sleeping...you mention bad backs...perhaps you need to adjust the way you are sleeping with him in your bed so this doesnt happen? Co-sleeping makes such a huge difference to so many people when they have a regular night waker and by finding a way to co-sleep thats comfortable will mean he will sleep better and you can pretty much stay asleep when hes feeding too. You realise his regular waking may well be related to feeling insecure in a cot by himself?

As for his age...well...this is called the 9 month sleep regression and boy does it hit hard!!! Quite often there is a round of illness/teething/extra mobility leading up to it and then many, many, MANY people suddenly start having children who wake very regularly in the night around 9-10 months...I did and at least half a dozen other people I know with children around this age are going through it right now and its no fun but it IS normal and it DOES get better.

IME there aint anything you can do to "fix" it as its a natural stage that many children go through, what you can do is make it as easy for you and him as possible. He doesnt NEED to sleep in his own cot and he doesnt NEED to 'settle himself', infact it is very unusual for a baby of 9 months to be able to get themselves off to sleep all the time in a natural way (ie with no sleep 'training')
Ive been up every hour and Ive had a baby who would wake, feed, scream, feed, sleep, scream, feed, sleep, feed, scream, feed, scream then bounce out of bed at 6am like nothing had happened even though previously he had slept solid 8 hour blocks no problem....it did end and it did go back to nice long sleep blocks (now about 10-12 hours)

Hi hun!
I have no words of wisdom, but the only thing i can think-is does he maybe need more sleep during the day? Up until about a yr old my dd had 2 naps a day, both for at least and hour, if not more. Maybe by bedtime he is overtired?
Co-sleeping just didnt work for us-well for hay..! But up until recently i would stay in her room whilst going to sleep, stroking her hair, or just sitting there so she knew i was there. If she made noises or started fidgeting i would just tell her it was bedtime. If she became really upset i would pick her up, cuddle her till she settled, then put her back down.
Hope u find somethin that works for you!! Xx

We have had big sleep problems and even now at 2 1/2 ds wakes sometime between 1 and 4 and about 6 before getting up at 7.30 ish. I started trying to settle him sometimes without a feed at around 11months but wasn't hugely successful. Gradually it got better and we still co sleep now but he doesn't feedin the night v often.9 months is still v little and a lot of babies don't sleep well until they are quite a bit older. I found the no cry sleep solution book q good but just went with my instincts really and kept telling myself it'll get better.And it did slowly.

My DS didn't sleep through till he was about 20mths I found co-sleeping helped but I has to move him into his own room when I was about 7months pregnant as he would kick my bump whilst asleep. We did end up CC with him bUt it was in desperation now DD is a little older he probably comes into our bed twice a week again and he's 28 months now. As I recall from about 9-18mth on and off he would be up for hours a night. I use to just come down and read books, watch films, even play games he would do anything other than be quiet
Everyone will give you opinions about what you should and shouldn't do I say do what feels right for you and your family it wobt last forever. I definetly would sleep through if I had the chance

Oh wow you lot are fantastic! I'm on my ipod giving the first feed (he settled without a feed at 830) and will reply properly later but thankyou so so much. Reading your experiences has already helped me, just knowing other people who have had this, and I will get dh to read this too.

I'll get back to you all tomorrow,hope everyone gets a good nights sleep!

First of all sweetie you need to tell your self that everyone will have an opinion, and most of them will be different to your's BUT when it comes to your baby you already know what to do!!! You know that voice that's telling you, it's called mothers instinct and it's right every time!

I could tell you what I do with my babies but i won't as just because it's right for us, that doesn't mean it will be the right thing for you! Too many mummies are too scared to just do what they feel is right with their babies and it makes me very sad, too many people butt in with the rights and wrongs, do's and don'ts and make you question everything!

I hope you manage to follow your instincts and find a way that works for you and get some sleep