Birth plan!

It might be different in Denmark but have never had the need to make a birthplan. The midwifes listen to the one giving birth and the dad usually just try to stay supportive and out of the way. I have never heard of anyone who gave birth and the course being like you describe

Midwifes offcause markes calls that are nescessary to the moms and babys health but other than that its pretty much up the mom to be

You have been through labour twice and you know your body, there is nothing unusual about your requests.

I would just tell him you have written your birth plan that way after speaking with your midwife about it and she has no problem with it xx

Some midwives can seem intimidated by a birth plan but they shouldn't be, it's your choice and your birth.
I found having a hypnobirthing note stuck to the door helpful as they went with all my requests.
The more intervention you have often the more they take over but sometimes that's good when things change.
Stick to your Guns and when going into hospital etc ask them to read it and go through it with you, often midwifery led units are better with this but hospitals are getting better and it depends on your hospital. Phone them and discuss it with them and explain what your midwife has said.
Every midwife is different and chances are you'll have a different midwife in labour anyway so don't worry too much