Settling at night

I m really struggling with my 6 year old settling at bedtime. She's never been the best at going to bed and we have periods of time where its not been an issue but more often than not she just can t go to sleep and calls out for us and wants us to stay with her.
She shares a room with dd2 (4years, who goes off to sleep) and ds (9months) is next door.
Even if we stay with her she just gets distracted by us and it appears to be more unhelpful ( or if DH goes he ends up asleep on her floor and she's still awake

Ds still doesn t sleep well and I m shattered so my patience at this time is pretty low and I m struggling to remain calm after the 4th/5th trip upstairs every night

What we ve tried:

Relaxing cd
Story CDs
Worry dolls
Putting her to bed early
Putting her to bed later
Discussing why she should go to sleep and not call out
Sticker chart

We ve had the most success with the sticker chart but this just means she doesn t shout out she is often still awake. Plus once the chart has finished its straight back to shouting out again.


Any other ideas I haven t thought of?
I m hoping she ll grow out of it but I can t see how, when or why at the moment!

Jen was always really difficult to settle at night, until we moved James in with her, we too were lieing next to her holding her hand to sleep, sometimes for 1hr +. Its just sooo wearing, so i feel your frustration. James pickles about if we stay in their room,so now its stories, a song and then goodnight. It workds pretty well so far. How about gradual withdrawal? Sitting in the room next door and just call back to her when she calls rather than going in? What would happen if you called out but refused to go in? Be frank, tell her you love her, but that you are having your dinner/tidying up/talking to daddy so she needs to settle down. Is she able to talk about what she is feeling? Is she scared? Lonely? Bored? That awake time before sleep is often when worries start to bother our minds. Maybe she is processing the day and things are bothering her? If thats the case maybe she needs some time earlier in the day to do some talking. Im very much for gentle but firm parently. I try and remind them and myself why we do not sit in with them whilst they go to sleep in as kind a way that my patience allows! Constant reminders that they are loved and being thought about and that its for their good as well as ours seems to help.

Thank you @ems101
I think it is her mind going on overdrive. She's a sensitive soul and will say she's had a bad dream before she's even gone to sleep. We usually have to give her something to think about to distract her a bit. She's also kind of told herself that she won t be able to go to sleep before she's even got into bed!
Difficulties with anxiety run in our family so I m trying to give her some skills to understand and cope with her emotions and feelings.

It did help when we moved dd2 in with her as she had company but the novelty wore off
Xx

Iris isn't that great at going to sleep. We did have great success with a relaxing CD, until the novelty wore off. Does your DD have a bath before bed? (No bath here, but I find a shower every night helps calm Iris down and signal it's bedtime.) Only other thing we have is a head torch - you know the type that you get from an outdoors shop that you usually use for walking? Iris has one of those; I allow her to read as long as she likes while wearing that sometimes. I just pop in before I head to bed to turn it off. It never used to bother Callum when they were sharing a room. FC you find something that works.

We did try reading a little while ago, but her reading was not as good then and she kept sneaking where's wally to bed and then she was not able to put it down! I might try books again. Thank you!

A good hour before bed to calm down helps, it's hard for them to wind down. No rough and tumble, bright lights , TV, loud voices. Lavender products, izzy loves a massage ♡ or if time is short just a foot rub. Have you tried the body scan meditation? It is fabulous and you could probably get a chance of it too.

All this helped izzy but nothing helps leon

Reading til she drops off sounds good. She might like the idea of ypu visiting her and turning out her light once she's asleep too

I still read to izzy til she falls asleep

I read to Harry too till he falls asleep. x