2.5 year old not listening - discipline question

I used to shower with the baby in the bath with me, get one of those sponge holder thingies then hes not going to be left anywhere (or shower when OH is there...?!) Though wherever you put him Im assuming you arent going to leave the two of them together unsupervised so there wont be any risk of her picking him up or whatever when you arent there.
Kids like playing with water, how about teaching her to put the plug in and just half fill the basin if she wants to play in the water whilst you are in the loo/doing something else so its not costing you money in water.

I am not sure if I've picked the best examples to demonstrate my point. My original reason for posting was that DD had stopped behaving in a way that was normal for her (for example getting herself undressed, or responding to instruction) and started deliberately disobeying which is not her usual behaviour pattern.
It's not so much the specific scenario, more the implication that she may now do this in many/all situations.

Maybe this is her version of the terrible twos?!

Id guess so....every child I have ever known on forums/in person/randomly has been through various phases that involve appearing deaf and seemingly doing the exact opposite of whats been asked of them.
Personally I think its more about adjusting how you (and your OH) react/act than about trying to mould her to your expectations, even if til now shes done everything as asked when asked (thats pretty unusual for ANY 1-2yr old!) shes very much more her own little person and developing as an individual is really important. You dont have to have a kiddie that does what you want exactly when you want all of the time to have a lovely child who grows up to be a lovely adult. If a child isnt listening you have to ask yourself why and look at yourself before getting cross with the child.

It sounds like you are experiencing her asserting her will. We had this with Martha at 3. Although Martha couldn't undress herself so not the same scenarios!

I do find that Martha is better if I say "I need you to help me because I'm busy/ in a rush". She doesn't always do as I say but I do find tone is useful, anothrr one where "tone" can result in tears tho.

We never used the naughty step till she was about your DDs age. I can't bear a defiant child tho or one who "deliberately" doesn't do as their told (as opposed to being distracted or engaged elsewhere). I do pick my battles but they need to know when you mean business.

I think your right it's probably her version of 'terrible twos', and also the listening thing. They start to go off in their own little world at that age and it's an independent ' I do it my way' world ( well was for my dd1) and also nothing else but their stuff matters...why should it what a lovely world lol!
At that age one has been encouraging independence too but sometimes the novelty wears off and it becomes more of an expectation and what attention do they get now for doing it, they see if they can get attention another way.
I think you re right in thinking ahead to how you might approach it esp with baby on the way pretty soon. She will get worse when baby is here though I promise sorry lots of things she could do she ll maybe chose not to so perhaps getting ahead of the game might help.
Lots of praise and sounding like your working as a team is good and sometimes indulge them when they say they can t do that thing they ve done a hundred times. My dd1 does that even now at 4.5

Good luck xxx

Thanks she was good as gold again this evening and got herself totally undressed for her bath, and waited while I went to the toilet too. I guess these are just the ups and downs of parenting, I wish you could buy patience in a bottle for the days when you are tired!

I hear you I think they call it selective deafness Izzy has phases of this too as i imagine all kids go through this stage. I would also not care about the water thing but tis your house your rules. The pick your battles thing has been a reoccuring thing since day 1 with us. I don't like the phrase but i know you kwim when i say that. Because I have found the more i try to control the little things the more she doesnt listen. i sound like a broken record and lets face it no one wants to listen to that let alone a strong minded toddler.

I feel your frustration with the not listening but i honestly think its just an age thing and they do select the times for listening don't they? not like its all they time. So really try and focus on the "good" times

I don't think punishment is the way to go in all honesty, taking away her bedtime story would IMO be totally disproprtionate to the crime! I mean bedtime story is really about them liking being read too by mum/dad before they go to sleep for the night. Would you want her getting all upset right before bed?

I just say good listening EVERY time izzy listens, i know that sounds incredibly simple but it really does work, she has learned she gets a big fuss for the good and no attention for the not listening. I have had two old ladies telling me how good she is at listening when out shopping today It made me think oh yeh she is generally and maybe i should try not to stress so much about the times when she doesnt.
HTH x