Roads and safety awareness

At what age do kids become 'road aware'? When I was 4 I walked to school alone with my friend the same age, but times were different then!!!

My dd has just turned 4 and my dh has been leaving her unattended in the front garden with the gate open. We live on a busy road with lots of parked cars. My blood ran cold when I realised what he'd done, but he's angry at me for thinking this is unsafe, as she 'knew not to go out the garden.'

She also knows not to draw on walls, steal food, hit people, or be cheeky, but it doesn't stop her doing it on occasion, and it would have taken seconds to secure the gate.

We're now at a real impasse, cos he's now 'teaching her' to cross the road by standing next to her, telling her to go, and letting her run across without looking or holding her hand.

I feel that a child who is literally 4 years and 4 weeks old cannot possibly be trusted to keep themselves safe on roads. When I cross roads with her I hold her hand, we do the observations together, and she knows to 'stop look listen think' before walking carefully and continually checking.

I think kids are at least 8 before they can properly analyse moving vehicles and all the rest of the information they have to process in order to cross safely. Obviously there is years of "road drill" before you get to that point. I think at four you need to know you always hold an adults hand to cross, you walk nicely and on the inside of the pavement if possible. I think I was also introducing conversations like how to play safely in the garden and some of the temptations that might distract from that (like an escapee ball). IMHO it is different having the conversation and expecting it to be imbedded and trustworthy. I had a scare when a friend let my son and her son cross a road to the local park without supervision at aged five- I knew my son could not do that safely. That was an interesting conversation!

Ben turned 4 two weeks ago. We walk to school every day and he knows to stop at the road, wait for me and we look. When it is clear I say he can go and he crosses without holding my hand. This stems alot from the fact that I used to walk 4 children to school so didn't have enough hands - they were all under 5 but knew exactly what to do. I don't need to hold ben's hand - he has never stepped into the road without me saying he can

We moved a couple of years ago and until a few weeks ago we didn't have a gate that shut properly but again, the kids have never left the garden without permission (sadly I am more worried about people coming in without permission but a catch on the gate wouldn't stop that)

I know where you are coming from but i also can see where your dh is coming from as that is how we work iyswim. Obviously i wouldn't let Ben cross the road on his own without adult supervision yet

I wouldn't trust a child under about 8 (sometimes later!) to consistently remember what to do unsupervised.

I also agree with pp re being able to 'read' vehicle speed, indicators etc etc. I would let a 4year old that was well drilled cross a quiet road beside me without holding hands, but definitely not unsupervised and definitely not a busy road without a marked crossing.

I wouldn't and still panic if Hannah (8) goes near the road.