4.5 yr old, is this normal?

My 4.5 yr old daughter often goes into her bedroom and shuts the door to play by herself. She is quite happy to do so, and in fact we have encouraged her to do it when things are escalating with her younger brother, so she can get some space from him rather than it turning into a fight. However increasingly of late I go in to see what she's up to and she is sitting on the bed, staring into space, sucking her thumb. Twice in the past few days I have gone in and found she has shut the curtains and gone to sleep. Sometimes she doesn't go into her room but just curls up on the sofa and sucks her thumb, I ask her why she isn't playing and she just grunts at me like a surly teenager!

She is not overtired, she sleeps really well at night, usually for 11.5-12 hrs solid and seems bright and cheery when she wakes in the morning, I don't see her yawning all day either.

I have been getting cross with her over it, which is not a great way to deal with it, I know. I think in the back of my mind it worries me that she is depressed, I used to spend huge amounts of time lying on my bed being depressed as a pre-teen and teenager and I hate the idea that she might feel that way at her age.

Does anyone know if it is "normal" at such a young age to want to spend so much time doing, literally, nothing, and by herself as well?

Has she just started school? Jen will come in an lie on the sofa and think or tell her self stories. I think she just processing the day and all the new things that happen.

Does she show any other signs of depression? Does she eat? Does she have friends? Interests? I don't think I'd be overly worried. Maybe try and get in some 1:1 time with her and sound her out?

I am an introvert and have always done this. Even as a young child, I would always end to process the day in my own time and space. Once I could read fluently, I would lose myself in a book for half an hour before being ready to carry on with the evening.

If she's just started school I can imagine, as above, that she's processing the day's events. Have you asked her why she's doing it or what she likes about it. My 4y 3m old has started wandering off and getting g into bed but it doesn't last long. I have a tendancy (if I have time and no baby attached to me) that I get into bed with her and ask get about her day x

Thank you for these replies. She has started school this year, though the issue is actually often in the mornings before school, or on weekends, and this past fortnight when she has been home most of the time. After school we do pretty much nothing but watch TV together as she is too tired to do anything else! And she doesn't absent herself for that.

Of course, you are right, the obvious thing is to just ask her - well I had asked her but I was telling her off at the same time which didn't exactly have the desired result! I asked her at bedtime if she was sitting by herself because she felt sad and she said no, she just wanted a bit of "alone time". She said she had been pretending to put her toys to bed and then fell asleep herself.

I wouldn't say she is at all introverted but she chats to herself a *lot*, so perhaps she does just need a bit of time sitting in silence just to give herself a break!

Maybe I was just projecting my own issues onto her a bit! Thanks all

An introvert is someone who re energises by being by themselves and an extrovert re energises by being with others. I used to think that an introvert didn't like being social but it just means that they need space to regain some energy.

Oh! In that case perhaps she is x

Hahaha my lg chats to herself constantly. It's non stop! Drives me mad. Singing, chatting just general noise making. X

Most people would label me as an extrovert because I am confident and enjoy social situations but I am a huge introvert and if I don't get time to be by my self the I quickly become exhausted.