Having friends over

DS2 is currently in utter meltdown mode because i said no to a friend coming to tea with no notice.

I shop weekly and plan meals out for the week so i dont over buy food and waste it.

If the kids want friends over then it has to be planned in advance... i.e. If they ask me this week, i will say yes but we'll do it next week so i can buy something kid friendly for tea. (I do feel bad when children come over and dont eat anything... I like to make something i know they will eat so will ask the friend what they like and get a special dessert) Quite fair i think as i know other parents like notice as well.

The older kids know the rule about people coming over and why we have it. But still olly asked yesterday about his friend coming over and i gave him standard yes but next week, ok.
So today he asked again in front of his mate and his mum in front of our house, to which i explained we were having a dinner i couldnt stretch and we would arrange for next week.
I hate being put on the spot like this because it makes me feel like a bad mum

What does everyone else do about friends coming over for tea? Is our rule silly or sensible?

We don't have that problem yet but I absolutely agree with you. On the basis as well that I would need to make sure that the house was clean as well etc... I think it's perfectly acceptable and when you are feeding a big family an extra mouth needs to be planned. X

Totally sensible!,not mean, I dint know anyone that does on the hop invites! I need to psych myself up for playdates unless I know the child really well lol!

Glad its not just me then... The friend olly wanted over did invite him over last friday at short notice so i think olly thought it was ok to do the same

Thankfully he has calmed down and apologised for his strop but i so could have done without it today.

My DD is only in yr R but there are a couple of girls in her class who do this pretty much every day, ask their mum's if so and so can come to her house straight from school. One of them regularly comes up to me and asks if she can come to my house! I alway say no I have to admit, I hate being put on the spot like that. I am also with you that we plan meals for the week and the only way I can stretch a meal is on fish and chip night! So I would never be able to have impromptu guests for a meal.

I m with you on the notice business too. I ve had kids ask if they can come to our house too. I always say no. We ve only just moved to the village and I didn t want my kids thinking they can have friends over every night.
I plan my meals too and would usually try and do a kid friendly meal or Dd1 has a friend who is vegetarian.
Most parents at the school seem to be similar. Occasionally I ve done an impromptu invite to a child for a play if its only for an hour and they go back before tea.