Telling the truth vs telling stories

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Telling the truth vs telling stories

Postby Pinchette » Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:09 pm

I'm after a bit of advise or a similar experience response.
Anyway, there are things that Kiara says that we can't work out if it's the truth or not. Not that she lies, but more like sometimes I know she re-creates stories she's heard or scenes she's seen on tv for example.
She's been off sick for 2 days, Monday morning she had a temperature and she'd been coughing the previous day so granted, I wasn't going to take her to school. But when I got home after work, she seemed fine and full of beans. This morning, she didn't have a temperature anymore and she'd been coughing a bit during the night but nothing bad so I got her ready, only to get a text from dh at 9am (I was at work) saying she wasn't well and that he was keeping her off school. He took her to his mum and when I spoke to her she said she was fine and full of beans. And indeed she was quite happy all afternoon., Then just before bedtime, she said to me she had a tummy ache and needed a cuddle. She was burping a bit, we gave her some medicine, the italians here swear by, which is basically solid bits of bicarb of soda that fizz when you put them in water. Anyway, she "seemed" to forget herself every so often and would start talking all happily as usual but if you asked how her tummy was she was saying it was still hurting.
The other thing she's mentionned a couple of time is boys punching her in the chest and in the stomach. But when we asked questions, we couldn't get a straight answer. One minute she'll say they were doing it playfully, the next she says she feels sad about it, then she said she did tell the teacher, then that she didn't..etc It's like she kinds of tells you what you want to hear sometimes.
We asked her if she was happy at school and she sort of said yes and no but it's always an answer that leaves you confused with Kiara.
We just don't know what to think. Is she playing up? Has she cottoned on that she gets attention when ill? Has anything happened at school?
What do you think?
Obviously, dh being the anxious person he is is imagining the worse.
He's going to mention the punching to the teacher tomorrow just to check whether she did report it or not and so that we can get to the bottom of it.
Tomorrow also happens to be her christmas play, surely she's too young to worry about it and play up is she????

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queen bee
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Re: Telling the truth vs telling stories

Postby queen bee » Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:26 pm

Really interesting question. My 2 oldest boys have gone through/are going through a phase where they start their story in reality and then their imagination takes over and we are suddenly into the realms of fantasy. They aren't lying because to them it is soooo real but on the other hand it isn't true either. Sometime it is hard to work out the truth from the fantasy. Even my 9 year old does it still sometimes. Their imaginations are on overtime during this period of their life - it's a great place to be.
I would mention the punching incident to the teacher - just to be sure and put your mind at rest. There could be a simple explanation like she was knocked when getting her water bottle at the sink - this happens quite regularly at my school (I'm a primary teacher) - completely innocent. But combine that with a vivd imagination and it could get blown up to a full blown punch-up. Not lying but creating stories in their minds.
My DS2 told a story last year that he was being bullied and beaten up by a boy in year 5. It turned out that the boy in question was not even in school on the alleged days. We decided to deal with this seriously and agreed with his class teacher and the y5 teacher that that the Y5 teacher (a man) should have a strong word with him.(I teach at the school so have great relationships with the kids' teachers). Benny saw the Y5 teacher, had a stern talking to about the consequences of making false accusations, had a little cry and has matured as a result (he still tells stories but understands about making false accusations). He has a brilliant relationship with the male teacher, who is now his class teacher. I'm not suggesting for a minute that this is the situation with Kiara,or that she should be dealt with in the same way as she is much younger than Benny and what she is saying may of course be true. Just sharing my experience and how it hasn't been an negative one.
DH and I have recently started pulling up our 2 oldest boys on this and getting them to think about what they are saying and what is a story. But also we enjoy it too and marvel at their imaginations and their innocence and wishing we could be on "Planet Ben" too :giggle:
Hope you get to the bottom of this punching issue. But also enjoy your little girl's imagination. It's sometimes a great journey they take you on.

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