What is the best way to nip this in the bud?

Ds has started hitting, pushing, kicking and punching quite a lot (mostly me). Up until now we were using time out on the step but to be honest it's having absolutely no effect on him. He's not bothered one bit about it.
So today we decide to change tact and this afternoon took his toy garage and put it in the conservatory so he couldn't play with it for the rest of the day when he smacked me. Cue a lovely rest of the afternoon with fabulous behaviour. He thought about hitting but didn't do it. We are going to carry on with this at home as I am thinking this may well work (fc) better than time out atm.
What do I do when we are out? Any suggestions? We were at a friends house today and ended up leaving because he kept hitting and pushing but if we have appointments or are at the shops this isn't possible. I can't really take a toy away when we get home either as it is too late by that point
Maybe a reward chart for good behaviour?

No advice hun but sending

Ds has started hitting, pushing, kicking and punching quite a lot (mostly me). Up until now we were using time out on the step but to be honest it's having absolutely no effect on him. He's not bothered one bit about it.
So today we decide to change tact and this afternoon took his toy garage and put it in the conservatory so he couldn't play with it for the rest of the day when he smacked me. Cue a lovely rest of the afternoon with fabulous behaviour. He thought about hitting but didn't do it. We are going to carry on with this at home as I am thinking this may well work (fc) better than time out atm.
What do I do when we are out? Any suggestions? We were at a friends house today and ended up leaving because he kept hitting and pushing but if we have appointments or are at the shops this isn't possible. I can't really take a toy away when we get home either as it is too late by that point
Maybe a reward chart for good behaviour?

Time out and reward charts don't have the effect that most parents think they do.

I highly recommend reading Alfie Kohn instead -

http://life.familyeducation.com/punishm ... 29460.html
http://www.alfiekohn.org/up/content/articles.asp
http://www.alfiekohn.org/up/index.html

Ds has started hitting, pushing, kicking and punching quite a lot (mostly me). Up until now we were using time out on the step but to be honest it's having absolutely no effect on him. He's not bothered one bit about it.
So today we decide to change tact and this afternoon took his toy garage and put it in the conservatory so he couldn't play with it for the rest of the day when he smacked me. Cue a lovely rest of the afternoon with fabulous behaviour. He thought about hitting but didn't do it. We are going to carry on with this at home as I am thinking this may well work (fc) better than time out atm.
What do I do when we are out? Any suggestions? We were at a friends house today and ended up leaving because he kept hitting and pushing but if we have appointments or are at the shops this isn't possible. I can't really take a toy away when we get home either as it is too late by that point
Maybe a reward chart for good behaviour?

Time out and reward charts don't have the effect that most parents think they do.

I highly recommend reading Alfie Kohn instead -

http://life.familyeducation.com/punishm ... 29460.html
http://www.alfiekohn.org/up/content/articles.asp
http://www.alfiekohn.org/up/index.html

Yeah i've been (all be it slowly) finding that out. Tbh time out has never been 100% effective!

Thank you for the links. I've read some but need some sleep so will read the rest tomorrow. What I have read so far has been very interesting and makes sense.

When we're out I usually ignore this behaviour or take him somewhere quiet to calm down. Distraction works well too, "oh look, how many apples is there?" sort of thing. Time out is useless here too, bailey just gets more wound up!

oscar was like that - but only ever with me, afaik he's never done anything like that to anyone else. he was about 13 months when it started, and it got so bad i actully went and found a job as i thought it reeally waasn't helping with us being together 24/7. he used to laugh if i told him off or put him in the naughty corner. the best thing that worked was actually me giving him a very close cuddle and depending on how bad it was i'd say right i'm going to count to 20 or 50 or whatever, and i'd trty to count slowly, calmly. he'd proptest for the first few numbers then would just chill for the rest. and would be fine after. his nursery couldn't believe he could count to 50 befor age 2... but that's probably why

Thanks ladies..........distraction I have just started using again and it's working well! Shall remember to use that when we are out and about
The counting is a good idea too I may use that but ina different way Lol at him counting to 50 at 2 from it!

Do you know why he does it? I mean, what triggers it? Is he angry>? Over tired? Eaten something that makes him a bit nuts?!

I think somethimes children lash out becasue they dont understand what they are feeling and are trying to get you to understand it for them. If you know, he is probably old enough to be told 'gosh, you're so angry at mummy for saying 'no' to those biscuits, it feels very unfair to you, and you are cross'. It can help them recognise what they are feeling and why and also that you understand it.

Worth a try maybe!

xx

Yes usually I do know why. It's only the odd occasion where it is out of the blue and I can see absolutely no reason for it.

I used to do that a lot the reflecting the feelings. I will say that I know he wanted x but he can't have it because of y and yes that makes him very cross. I still do now occasionally but it may well be a good time to up the usage again. Thank you as I had kind of forgotten about this so will definately put it back into practise again