How Can I Help Her?

DH and I have been to another disastrous assembly with DD1 this morning .

She's in Year 1 and today was their 'Year Assembly' where they all sing some songs together and then each have a line to say out loud. She cried pretty much all the way through it and then couldn't say her line - she was the very last to speak out of the whole year, so kind of the big finale (her friend ended up saying it for her).

She had a similar experience in Reception where she started her line, fluffed it, then burst out crying so I have a horrible feeling she remembered her experience from last time and felt unable to speak at all this time .

I know she's a sensitive little soul and is fearful of 'performing' at the best of times, but I just want to try and help her overcome her fears and get a little confidence. She is more than capable of doing LOADS of things - she has a lovely clear voice, is a great dancer, can sing, but refuses point blank to do ANYTHING voluntarily if it involves an audience of any kind.

Does anyone have any advice?????

PS We try to be as encouraging as possible, but also say it doesn't matter what happens/how things go, we'll still be super proud of her.

Aww poor kiddie. C used to be quite shy infront of other people, he wouldnt stand up and speak in assembly and used to put his hand up to answer questions on the carpet in school but then be unable to answer.
It was his dancing that sorted him out, he started by getting better at dancing infront of the parents and then infront of the other groups then he would do little solos infront of his group then the parents and hes progressed in the last couple of years so much that he is doing national break/street dance competitons.
If she has something like this to go too over time she will improve, I dont think there is any quick fix for something like this, its always going to be a longer slog and learning through positive experience.

Aww Having to go last is harder, because the nerves build up so much! Have you asked her what she feels when she goes on stage? Does she get "butterflies"? If so, teaching her to shake her hands really hard before she goes on stage, is great for relaxing nerves. Or pretend everyone in the audience is wearing a silly hat or something?

I used to get very nervous on stage as a child (well, still do) and the worst part of it for me was that my parents were in the audience! If they weren't there I was fine, but for some reason I'd get soo nervous when they were! I guess many children would probably feel better with their parents there for reassurance though. I'm sorry I haven't any better advice, I'm not entirely sure what I'd do in that situation either!

Poor thing. There are plenty of adults who are uncomfortable with public speaking or standing up in front of an audience so I'm not sure why school assumes that a 5/ 6 year old is going to handle it like a walk in the park.

Not much to suggest other than a bit of reassurance that the sky won't fall in if she gets it wrong

There are plenty of adults who are uncomfortable with public speaking or standing up in front of an audience so I'm not sure why school assumes that a 5/ 6 year old is going to handle it like a walk in the park.

Yes exactly!! But what I don't get is how EVERY other child in the year (so about 89 of them) manages to stand up and say a line (although actually one other girl was a bit upset while she said hers).

Have you asked her what she feels when she goes on stage? Does she get "butterflies"?

She say she is just really scared - of the Year 2 children and also all the parents. Judging by the look on her face, I think it's more like pure terror than butterflies

After a huge struggle, I managed to get Leila to start going to a gymnastics class. She desperately wanted to go but whenever we got to the class she would get all upset and cling on to me for dear life. After about 4 weeks of cajoling she was ok to be left but still has days (eg after holiday breaks) where she reverts to being really mega-clingy again.

I dunno, maybe she'll grow out of it. I'm probably feeling bad on her behalf too because I've also struggled big time with nerves when I've had to present at conferences etc so I can appreciate her fears.