Cloth Nappy Tree Forum

My son attends a local football class for 2-4 year olds and recently during the class he was fidgeting with the ball and the coach snatched the ball from him and didn't give it back despite my son asking for it nicely. this was without warning.

I have often not been comfortable with how children are spoken to in these classes (i.e. "get off", "be quiet", "don't do that" in quite abrupt tones) but have let it go. The children are often expected to sit quiet and listen to complicated instructions any my son is a fidgeter...what can I do??? Just the way he is.

Anyway, after the ball was taken my son started to cry...he is not even 4 yet. I motioned for him to come to me and the coach told him to sit down, twice. I had to go and get him. He snuggled up to me and was crying, saying the coach took his ball and wouldn't give it back. Eventually the coach came by and gave back the ball and tried to reengage my son, who couldn't play for the rest of the time as he was too distraught.

I told the coach I felt he was innapropriate, he aplogized but said my son was being disruptive and that was how they dealt with it. I complained to the owner of the classes that I did not like punishment being used, and was told I was overreacting and that they were practicing redirection and that children must learn to sit and listen and that loads of teachers and nursery workers attend the classes and that they discipline children in the same way.

Well my son attends nursery and has never been redirected in a way that led to tears! Our nursery never treats children like this, even in the most challenging circumstances (they must have superpowers!)

My husband doesn't think I overreacted, and my son does not want to attend again, so I think it certainly had a negative effect on him...

But I am quite protective...have I overreacted? Should we just go back? Is that sending the wrong message to my son, that he should let adults treat him like that? I am in a quandry.

I will fully accept that I overreacted if I actually have....but I honestly don't think I have...hmmm....

I wouldn't be attending that class again...
For a 3yo to be spoken to like that is way out of line! Of course children need to learn to sit and listen but not at 3yrs old!!!
Most under 5s are UNABLE to sit still and listen to a complex instruction... It's not a skill they develop until later!

I HATE the way football coaches think it's ok to speak to and treat children.

Not the same at all but Jack's ex-coach was very rude & insulting towards him during Half-Time one match & then lied about it when Jack went to my DH in tears ... 4 other children backed him (Jack) up thankfully , which resulted in DH getting Jack to take his kit off then and there & dump it on the pitch leaving the team ... 3 others followed suit between that match and the following training session as all were fed-up of the way they are spoken to.

If I had been there then there would have been real trouble, I wouldn't have left until Jack had recieved a full apology from him in front of the whole team & all the parents. I consoled myself by reporting him to the FA.

Velvetsteph wrote:I wouldn't be attending that class again...
For a 3yo to be spoken to like that is way out of line! Of course children need to learn to sit and listen but not at 3yrs old!!!
Most under 5s are UNABLE to sit still and listen to a complex instruction... It's not a skill they develop until later!

I agree, I think you were completely reasonable, may be the ppl that run it need a little back ground on child development.

in my opinion - no way did you over react! Like steph said - at three there is no way a child can sit still!!
and actually - if he likes football, he is likely to be more excited... and therefore fidget more!!

mangajude wrote:

Velvetsteph wrote:I wouldn't be attending that class again...
For a 3yo to be spoken to like that is way out of line! Of course children need to learn to sit and listen but not at 3yrs old!!!
Most under 5s are UNABLE to sit still and listen to a complex instruction... It's not a skill they develop until later!

I agree, I think you were completely reasonable, may be the ppl that run it need a little back ground on child development.

What they said. If it was a Football Association run or affiliated course, I would be looking for the code of conduct too to see what it says.

I don't think you have overreacted at all. Id be furious if i was ibmyour shoes. Im appalled that he thinks that is the appropriate way to discipline a child, never mind a 3 year old. That isn't redirection either, as that involves focussing their interests on something else entirely & not causing them distress. Its completely unreasonable to expect a child his age to sit still and listen. I know my children wouldst at still. xx

mangajude wrote:

Velvetsteph wrote:I wouldn't be attending that class again...
For a 3yo to be spoken to like that is way out of line! Of course children need to learn to sit and listen but not at 3yrs old!!!
Most under 5s are UNABLE to sit still and listen to a complex instruction... It's not a skill they develop until later!

I agree, I think you were completely reasonable, may be the ppl that run it need a little back ground on child development.

yes...I did suggest they need to brush up on child development ages/stages etc...but that was ignored...

glad that i probably didn't overreact! I don't think we'll be going again...

JabberJabber wrote:

mangajude wrote:

Velvetsteph wrote:I wouldn't be attending that class again...
For a 3yo to be spoken to like that is way out of line! Of course children need to learn to sit and listen but not at 3yrs old!!!
Most under 5s are UNABLE to sit still and listen to a complex instruction... It's not a skill they develop until later!

I agree, I think you were completely reasonable, may be the ppl that run it need a little back ground on child development.

What they said. If it was a Football Association run or affiliated course, I would be looking for the code of conduct too to see what it says.

Hmm, I don't think it is FA associated, but I will certainly look into it. I was wondering what code of conduct I might refer to, thanks!